"in the wake of your leave" lyrics

So as you canyoneered from our world upwards
And the angels took their place
I was the loser at your funeral
No emotion conveyed
It was drawn out in vain
And the idiot I am just figured
In the wake of your leave
That I'd never hear from you again

And that I'd sing
With all this feeling
That your spirit would afford me

My hand
On heart
It's not a thing that I've been dreaming of
And it goes without my blessing
And leaves me in a rut
But it comes and goes
And shows me all I'm missing
And it comes and goes

I was there at the backstage trying
But the words they never came
And I was available for a statement but I just
Hung my head in shame

It felt nothing to me
All the ceremony I'd wasted
And then I'd thank them leave
And say "God bless you all, goodnight"

Then I'd think
The grave was turning
And that nothing could absolve me

My hand
On heart
It's not a thing that I've been dreaming of
And it throws me without warning
And leaves me in the dust
But it comes and goes
And fills me when I'm empty
Then it comes and goes
And I will need it when it's gone

It quakes
And moves
Then breaks
Then shatters over me
In shapes of all these
Quiet sacred things I need

My hand on heart
If there's a line or something in these songs
That are worthy of some mention
You're free to let me know
But it comes and grows
And leaves me in my weakness
And it comes and goes

My hand
On heart
It's not a thing that I've been dreaming of
And it goes without my blessing
And leaves me in a rut
But it comes and goes
And holds me when I'm sleepless
Then it comes and shows
How I need you when you're gone