"Happy Birthday To My Loose Acquaintance" lyrics

Facebook told me it's your birthday
I wouldn't have known any other way
'Cause we coexist in a mutually unstated
Unattached cohesion that Facebook created

So I got ten seconds and they're just for you
To write on your wall like good people do
To keep our weak social tie with minimal maintenance
Happy birthday to my loose acquaintance

Look through my photo album, you're not in it
If I saw you on the street, it would take me a minute
But I'm such a thoughtful person and I totally care
That's why there are three exclamation points there

Colon, parentheses to be more compelling
All caps so it's just like I'm just yelling
From the top of my heart just to keep status quo
Happy birthday, dear person who I sort of know

We both know you're not my real friend
You're a byproduct of a social networking trend
But you feel just as indifferently about me
So there's no guilt in our apathetic reciprocity

So if we don't talk much or at all this year
Remember I sent you this afterthought cheer
To keep our minor affinity with minimal maintenance
Happy birthday to my loose acquaintance