"The BJ Song" lyrics

I've been down here such a long, long time
My neck is at a weird angle and I don't love the view
I've been working hard here, not sure what else to do
Maybe I'll try eye contact...
Nope, no eye contact, I feel like a creep
Maybe it'll be over soon and I can go to-
Ooh, I just chagged, I hate cha-
I did it again

Who was the first woman to put a dick in her mouth?
So avant-garde, what a pioneer
God, I don't know anything about the history of women
If a hipster cums on someone's face
Does he make it in a figure-eight like little cum-glasses?
Pearl vision

I wanna make you feel good
And stopping now would feel kind of wrong
I wanna make you feel good
But only if it doesn't take too long

What should I do? My mouth is so dry
Is it considered lubricant if I start to cry?
If my dad saw me now, I would feel so bad
Oh my God, stop thinking about my dad!

The length of time down here I'm willing to do
Is directly proportional to how much I like you
I feel like you should know that, and hurry up
'Cause guess what? I don't like you that much
Or maybe I do
Who are you?

I'm 36 years old and I forgot who I'm blowing
I can't be down here any longer with not knowing
You got one of those dicks that I can't seem to place
I'll pretend to take a deep breath and look up at your face
Oh! It's Derek!

I wanna make you feel good
And stopping now would feel kind of wrong
I wanna make you feel good
But only if it doesn't take too long

Wait, what's that sound?
It's silence!

I feel like I haven't heard silence in such a long time
Is this the first time I've stopped talking in, like, two years?
Am I talking to fill the void of the great big empty?
Am I always like (gibberish)
So I don't have to face my fears?

Do I really need a dick in my mouth to stop talking?
Don't I ever shut the fuck up?
God, I'm so sick of myself
I need to talk to my therapist about why I talk so much
Am I scared of si-

Yes, he's cumming!
Yes, he's cumming!
Yes, he's cumming!
Yes, he's cumming!
Whoa, he's cumming