"Look At My Life" lyrics

How long have I got
In the hot light till the shine rusts?
I've been thinking through the hard stuff
Over light drugs like every night
No, you don't need to come over
'Cause I'd crowd please and I'm tired
Slowly morphed into a poser
Barely know her anymore

Do I look high-functioning or
Is my façade crumbling? Oh
God, don't actually answer me, Caroline

But oh well, look at my life
Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night
Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right

I just got to the party
With the big shots and the Barbies
Empty talk and talk and talk until my ears bleed
He's holding a pill
He thinks that I should take one
But I'll raise him to the whole bunch
I'm kidding, God, he thinks I'm stupid
What a gut punch, but then we go

Downtown, there's no medicine
I'd spit out if it promises
Slowing down voices, don't want to hear a sound

But oh well, look at my life
Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night
Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized
Got what I, what I

Maybe if I smile enough
I'll get away with giving up
I'll move across the country just to judge myself like just as much
As I do when I'm sitting here
I miss my friends, I disappeared
And haven't seen 'em in a year
Oh God, what am I doing here?

But oh well, look at my life
Bet you can't tell but it's kind of a bad time
A new spiral every night
Bawling my eyes out, no, but I'm so fine
Yeah, I might just shut up and drive
Hope I don't crash and blow out the headlights
My nightmare actualized
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right

I got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right
Got what I wanted, it doesn't sit right