"Crash First" lyrics

[Part I]

It's alright, man
I've got a story for us
Nobody's heard it
Hahaha
Alright
That's not, that's not the question

I fill my lungs with half my worth
And try to go numb so that I can't hurt
'Cause at my highs, I'm at my worst
And I can't fly until I crash first

Everyone seein' me screamin', been that since birth
Everyone seein' this money I'm blowin', but nobody seein' the work
Look, dad, I'm high like you, for me, the pills don't work
I like diggin' in a bag, I like smokin' 'til it hurt
And if my eyes roll back, then let the tears come first
Been holdin' those in too long, fakin' it like I'm too strong
And when my eyes roll back, throw my body in the dam
And them things in my pocket, will you hide 'em from my fam?
Will you tell the world I loved hard? Can you make 'em understand
That all of the things I was strugglin' with, they ain't make me less a man?
And all of the trauma I'm tryin' to bury, prolly made me who I am
Think growin' up broken was necessary, so I could fix my fam
And part of me died on this deathbed, holdin' my daddy's hand
Just tell my daughters a father will drown if that means they can swim

I fill my lungs with half my worth
And try to go numb, so that I can't hurt
'Cause at my highs, I'm at my worst
And I can't fly until I crash first

I know that it takes time, I'm comin' to get you
Walkin' a straight line, I need me a breakthrough
I'm smokin' a grapevine, sippin' a grape juice
Choppin' a white line, it's gettin' harder to face you

[Part II]

Oh God
Yo, we 'bout to— ayy, look
Yo, we 'bout to fuck it up
Ayy, Kells, tell the people, man
Ayy, bro, ayy, Kells, they act like we don't do this, man
What? Come on

Yeah, take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin'
I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it
Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin'
Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin'
Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it
No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend
Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin'
Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end, uh

All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
I couldn't give a fuck (No)
I never gave a fuck (No)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck

Under pressure, I don't got control of my aggression
Under the influence, I'm 'bout to make a bad impression
On the dresser, it's some ammunition and a weapon
And I've been smokin' on this shit since I was adolescent
Three sixes, I'm tryna get lucky, number seven
I wonder if they got a spot for junkies up in Heaven
Leave a message, they gon' find my body in the bedroom
And they can listen to this song if they want my confession (Yeah)

Take my hands off the wheel, I'm speedin'
I said I hate you when I left, I didn't mean it
Open wounds from my nose, still bleedin'
Only you can clean me up, I'm still fiendin'
Cold sweats and these meds can't treat it
No sleep, I'ma party through the weekend
Kerosene, black smoke, I'm breathin'
Somebody, save me, I've been fallin' off the deep end, no

All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck (I don't)
I couldn't give a fuck (No)
I never gave a fuck (No)
All I know is I don't know how to give a fuck

Go, go, go, go
I'm gettin' closer to death
Go, go, go, go
I'm gettin' closer
Go, go, go, go
I'm gettin' closer to death
Go, go, go, go
I'm gettin' closer