"Forgiveness" lyrics

It's been a while but I'm still not fine
Tryna find a place you haven't been in my mind
And everyone says healing takes time
But I think that depends on how the stitches are tied

If I'm honest the issue is not if I miss you
But if I'll ever trust you again

Who knew forgiveness
Could be such a hard bitch?
I never thought forgiveness
Would lead back to the darkness
But I'm reliving every thing you did
Every word you said
Tryna fill the craters you left in
My head and my chest cause
Forgiveness just makes me feel heartless
Tryna find my way back to the brightness
Kill you with kindness

It's not just that you messed me up
I kinda think it's sick the way you kept having fun
I wonder if you know how to love
Or do you only feel it when you drink yourself numb?

I promise I'm tryin'
But the deeper I'm divin'
The less I wanna make it back up

Who knew forgiveness
Could be such a hard bitch?
I never thought forgiveness
Would lead back to the darkness
But I'm reliving every thing you did
Every word you said
Tryna fill the craters you left in
My head and my chest cause
Forgiveness just makes me feel heartless
Tryna find my way back to the brightness
Kill you with kindness
Kill you with kindness

I guess I kinda hoped it would be easier than this
But I still can't forget
And I don't wanna relive it

Who knew forgiveness
Could make you feel hopeless
I never thought forgiveness
Would lead back to the darkness
But I'm reliving every thing you did
Every word you said
Tryna fill the craters you left in
My head and my chest cause
Forgiveness just makes me feel heartless
Tryna find my way back to the brightness
Kill you with kindness
Kill you with kindness