"The Next Console War" lyrics
Order! Order!
Order in the court!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please be seated!
Mr. Skullkruncher, take the stand
Thank you very much, Your Honor
[Hook:]
I don't like playing favorites
You know how much I hate it
I never wanted to break anyone's heart
It's tearing up my insides
Because I have to pick sides
Why do the two of you have to make this hard?
Buckle up everyone, cause this won't be fun
I gotta choose PS4 or Xbox One
Microsoft you got the Kinect, it's hot
It can recognize me when I step on the spot
(Welcome back, master)
I got my own robot!
You want customization? That'll give you a lot
It never turns off, and that seems pretty sweet
But that means that thing will watch me when I sleep
OK Sony, whatcha got fo' me?
Is the PS4 gonna try to control me?
Luckily, the camera's not mandatory
This console war will go down in history!
Hundred bucks cheaper?
Sounds like a deal
Controller with a touch pad
(I wanna feel)
Sweet gaming engine, freakin' Unreal
Plus you can share games, now I'm gonna steal!
[Hook]
Xbox Live has always been worth it
And the new one is gonna run on the same service
Sony, you better step the Network up
Because PSN didn't really get worked on (sucked)
PlayStation Plus, you oughtta try it
It enhances the experience, but you gotta buy it
PS4 is playing catch-up now, cause Microsoft has the best online around
They got Titanfall, and of course, Halo
Versus InFAMOUS: Second Son and Killzone
Exclusive names, which one to choose?
All I know is red rings, I'm done with you!
Sony, you got your share of problems too
Defective disc drives and GPU
All this next-gen stuff better be Grade-A beef
Because my backup plan is a Nintendo Wii!
[Hook]
The Xbox at E3: total disaster
Microsoft was a stock of laughter
Changed all your policies to keep the fans happy
While the guys at Nintendo are rapidly fapping (yes!)
Whoa Sony, you're not off the hook
Yeah, the Microsoft meltdown made you look good
But that's about it, and I don't call that balance
Plus, your design looks like the Xbox in italics
Don't get mad cause I just dissed 'em
At least Destiny will released on both systems
Bungie making games for PlayStation now?
Microsoft, that's your prodigal child! (ouch)
Next-Gen is gonna take the world by storm
By the end of this rap, it'll be the Third World War
Everybody talkin' smack about the other console
Scroll down to the comments and read them all
Which one should I own? I'm still not sold
I got these console trolls at my throat
They're gonna crucify me either way I go
SO SCREW YOU ALL, I'M GONNA BUY 'EM BOTH!!!
[Hook]
Wow, so glad I decided to get both of these systems
Excuse me, sir? Sir?
Sir, after taxes that'll be 967.82
WHAT?!
967.82
Are you kidding me?!
No I'm not, sir
Wow, you have lost my business, sir!
Okay
You and your tyrannical next generation bullshit can suck it!
Could you calm down, sir?
Ah, go fuck yourself!
Okay
Screw this, I'm going back to the N64
Order in the court!
Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, please be seated!
Mr. Skullkruncher, take the stand
Thank you very much, Your Honor
[Hook:]
I don't like playing favorites
You know how much I hate it
I never wanted to break anyone's heart
It's tearing up my insides
Because I have to pick sides
Why do the two of you have to make this hard?
Buckle up everyone, cause this won't be fun
I gotta choose PS4 or Xbox One
Microsoft you got the Kinect, it's hot
It can recognize me when I step on the spot
(Welcome back, master)
I got my own robot!
You want customization? That'll give you a lot
It never turns off, and that seems pretty sweet
But that means that thing will watch me when I sleep
OK Sony, whatcha got fo' me?
Is the PS4 gonna try to control me?
Luckily, the camera's not mandatory
This console war will go down in history!
Hundred bucks cheaper?
Sounds like a deal
Controller with a touch pad
(I wanna feel)
Sweet gaming engine, freakin' Unreal
Plus you can share games, now I'm gonna steal!
[Hook]
Xbox Live has always been worth it
And the new one is gonna run on the same service
Sony, you better step the Network up
Because PSN didn't really get worked on (sucked)
PlayStation Plus, you oughtta try it
It enhances the experience, but you gotta buy it
PS4 is playing catch-up now, cause Microsoft has the best online around
They got Titanfall, and of course, Halo
Versus InFAMOUS: Second Son and Killzone
Exclusive names, which one to choose?
All I know is red rings, I'm done with you!
Sony, you got your share of problems too
Defective disc drives and GPU
All this next-gen stuff better be Grade-A beef
Because my backup plan is a Nintendo Wii!
[Hook]
The Xbox at E3: total disaster
Microsoft was a stock of laughter
Changed all your policies to keep the fans happy
While the guys at Nintendo are rapidly fapping (yes!)
Whoa Sony, you're not off the hook
Yeah, the Microsoft meltdown made you look good
But that's about it, and I don't call that balance
Plus, your design looks like the Xbox in italics
Don't get mad cause I just dissed 'em
At least Destiny will released on both systems
Bungie making games for PlayStation now?
Microsoft, that's your prodigal child! (ouch)
Next-Gen is gonna take the world by storm
By the end of this rap, it'll be the Third World War
Everybody talkin' smack about the other console
Scroll down to the comments and read them all
Which one should I own? I'm still not sold
I got these console trolls at my throat
They're gonna crucify me either way I go
SO SCREW YOU ALL, I'M GONNA BUY 'EM BOTH!!!
[Hook]
Wow, so glad I decided to get both of these systems
Excuse me, sir? Sir?
Sir, after taxes that'll be 967.82
WHAT?!
967.82
Are you kidding me?!
No I'm not, sir
Wow, you have lost my business, sir!
Okay
You and your tyrannical next generation bullshit can suck it!
Could you calm down, sir?
Ah, go fuck yourself!
Okay
Screw this, I'm going back to the N64
