"Whatever Happens First" lyrics

I got this close to packing up my bags and leaving
A year ago, around this time
But right at the door, I turned around, I couldn't trust the feeling
Does leaving home ever feel right?
But I'm never gonna like myself
If I'm standing where the curtain fell

'Cause it can't get any worse
And I can't get any worse
So I'll change my life, or I'll lose my mind
Whatever happens first, I guess
I hate to leave the memories
But I'm sick of the reminders
'Cause I've grieved enough in growing up
No need to fuel the fire

I left for a week
A giant city really made me notice
How free I felt in a new place
And when I got home I lost the person
Who had made sticking around feel worth it
So now I think it's time to go

'Cause it can't get any worse
And I can't get any worse
So I'll change my life, or I'll lose my mind
Whatever happens first, I guess
I hate to leave the memories
But I'm sick of the reminders
'Cause I've grieved enough in growing up
No need to fuel the fire

This room has watched me fall apart so bad I couldn't walk
And this house has seen me cry so hard, if these four walls could talk
'Cause I've said, "Goodbye forever" to some people that I loved
I guess I needed all those things to feel I'm growing up

'Cause it can't get any worse
And I can't get any worse