"The Story Of Willy" lyrics

On the morning of the day of the apocalypse
Willy woke up and made himself bacon and eggs and rye toast
He didn't usually eat bacon, but since today was such a special day
He figured why not

Like most people these days
He had a hard time keeping his food down
But that didn't stop Willy from eating
He enjoyed food too much

Willy went outside, he loved to breathe fresh air
But he went outside anyway
He decided to head across the street and visit his good friend Bob
When Willy got to Bob's house, he found that Bob, in utter despair
Had shot himself in the head

"Some people have no patience whatsoever," Willy proclaimed
"Well, I'm not going to kill myself
I'm sticking it out, today's a special day
The last day of planet Earth and I'm going to enjoy myself
Maybe today I won't go to the health spa
Maybe I'll just stay here and drink all of Bob's beer
Or maybe when Bob's wife comes home, I'll take her out dancing
Yeah, that's it, dancing
I'm going home to get changed"

Willy raced out the door into the street
Not noticing the runaway steamroller
That flattened him into a pancake in less that one second
The World would have to end without Willy