"ESOEMOEHOED" lyrics

We haven't talked since last July
Mom makes me feel bad for not calling you
I can't for the life of me figure out why
She's still on your side
After everything that you put us through

When you started smoking
After thirty years sober
And I started hoping it didn't mean anything
But now you live 10 hours away
And I miss you every second of every day

So if losing me isn't rock bottom
What is it?
Do you think you'll die before you hit it?
Do you know that I miss you
Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day

I thought we had something that no-one else did
I knew we were family
But I thought we were friends
And then you became everything you warned me against
Torched down my home town and every bridge to it

When you started smoking
After thirty years sober
And I started hoping that it would be over soon
But now you live 10 hours away
And I miss you every second of every day

So if losing me isn't rock bottom
Then what is it?
Do you think you'll die before you hit it?
Do you know that I miss you
Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day

I know I'll never get a letter
But I hope you say you're sorry
'Cause I miss you more than anybody's
Ever missed anybody

I know I didn't cause
I can't control and I can't cure it
I know it's hard
I know it's lonely
I know you're hurting
But I'm mourning somebody that hasn't even died
And I'm fighting an addiction that isn't even mine
It's exhausting to be this angry all of the time
All of the time

So if losing me isn't rock bottom
What is it?
Do you think you'll die before you hit it?
Did you know that I miss you
Every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day

You were supposed to protect me
But you didn't
And I know I'm grown now
But I'm still your kid
And I miss you every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day