"Treasure Map" lyrics

Happily this afternoon
Along the beach I waddle
Looking at the sand
I spy an old, forgotton bottle

I scoop it up, and look at it
My eyes go big and wide
For heavens yes, there seems to be
A treasure map inside

Somwhere at the tail-end
Of this twisty dotted line
A chest of gold awaits
And soon it's going to be mine

I buy a sturdy shovel
Since the treasure will be deep
I buy expensive boots
Because my old ones are too cheap

I buy a fancy compass
And a treasure hunting cap
And off I set into the forest
Eyes upon my map

So carefully I trace the pathway
Every little bend
It's almost getting dark
Before at last I reach the end

I'm so excited, I can't help
But do a little jig
I calm myself, take out my shovel
And proceed to dig

I dig and dig, and dig and dig
Until my hands begin to hurt
Then finally! My treasure chest
All worn and caked in dirt

But when I look inside the chest
I only find a note
Upon it is the simple little message
And I quote:

"Everybody wants to find a buried treasure chest
But no-one wants to bury one
If you do
Be my guest"

- Pirates are assholes