"Intrusive Thoughts" lyrics

I'm historically heartbroken
Drowning in my own emotions
One minute away from breaking down, down, down
I'm always leaving empty-handed
No one wants a heart that's damaged
Only know a love that lets me down, down, down

Oh staring contest with the walls
I'm giving into my intrusive thoughts

What if I never find anybody to love
Or I finally get the chance and I fuck it all up?
'Cause I can't get hurt if I'm the first one to leave
Woah, what if I get to heaven and it's not even real
And I die before telling you how I really feel?
'Cause it feels like hell and I just can't help but think
That maybe love's not for me

If you don't look too closely
You can't even tell I'm lonely
Even though it keeps me up at night, night, night
I try to keep myself distracted
But I got all these awful habits
Of listening to voices in my mind, mind, mind

Oh staring contest with the wall
I'm giving into my intrusive thoughts, oh

What if I never find anybody to love
Or I finally get the chance and I fuck it all up?
'Cause I can't get hurt if I'm the first one to leave
Woah, what if I get to heaven and it's not even real
And I die before telling you how I really feel?
'Cause it feels like hell and I just can't help but think
Maybe love's not for me

Oh-oh, maybe love's not for me, oh-oh-oh
Maybe love's not for me
Maybe love's not for me
For me, for me, for me
Maybe love's not for me