"didn't cry" lyrics

Was it anger or was it grief?

I lost my boy last year
I lost my homie and I didn't get to visit
Did his mama get to kiss him bye?
I wonder why I didn't cry
I'm livid that I didn't cry (Mm)
I cried when X died
I cried when Mac died
And when Effie passed that put me on my backside
When I got the news 'bout you I hit the stage and blazed it
Couldn't deal with the pain right then I figured I'd be patient
Knew it was coming, I breakdown I do eventually I'm emotional
I tear up during Pixar and or Disney
You'd laugh at that if you was still here with me
But you're not and now I'm left inside our city
Feeling pity for myself because my friend's gone
Reminisce on the bond that we built when we wrote singles for smoke signal
My first tape played over my verse and murder first tape
Dressed up in all yellow to surprise me on my birthday
I miss you in the worst way
And now I'm cursing at myself
The kind of person misses friend's premature funeral 'cause it's a workday
Especially since you built me up in the first place

I know you had to go away
I'm wishing that you could stay now
I'm thinking what I would say
I'm wishing that I could breakdown
I know you had to go away
I'm wishing that you could stay now
I'm thinking what I would say
I'm wishing that I could breakdown

Could breakdown, could breakdown
Could breakdown, could break
Could breakdown
I'm wishing that you could stay now
I'm thinking what I would say
I'm wishing that I could breakdown
Could breakdown
Could breakdown