"More Than Music IV" lyrics

Yeah
You ever feel like you don't say enough while also saying too much?
Overthink so long 'bout what people gon' probably judge
Too many signs misread from ones I thought I loved
Guess the closest to your heart can deal you the worst cuts
Lately petrified from these lessons I shoulda known
Start to question my existence—the other thing's that I don't
It's why I'm closed off, unread messages on my phone
And the words I wish I said all stuck inside of my throat
Tryna let it out, they told me, "Breathe, trust me, you fine"
While my heart rate increased, anxiety filled my mind
I can barely go a day without fearing my own decline
So I pace around my room, alone, writing these lines
I'm defeated often, oh the irony of persistence
And pursue the happiness I confused the purpose of living
It's a blue sky outside but I ain't close to finished
I obsess over this fear, letting down future children
I'm a menace, I'm an outcast tending with all this pain
I'm as lonely as a spell that's cast away in the rain
Built a castle on a hill that crumbled from all this change
Tryna put it back together is different but still the same
Am I making sense? What if I'm not even making sense?
What if I dropped a song and no one relates to me in the end?
I know it all depends
I feel my heart beat through this pen, I think it's heaven-sent
I don't just fake weak for a trend, this is all I got

My side is beautiful
This is all I got
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful

Yeah
Every piece of me inside this music
Somedays scared I won't get it back
Often think about the factory job that I started at
Would I be happier never checking on my social stats?
Got so blinded by a dream and the things that I coulda had
Soley guided by emotion, stranded out in the open
Waves crashing overboard as my spirit was barely coping
Trouble holding on, except to this cigarette that I'm smoking
This ain't what I planned, not even close to what I was hoping
But there's beauty in the struggle, something I'd come to find
God tests His strongest soldiers to keep 'em present in mind
And in mine, would you stay? Never leave from my side?
'Cause in Christ, you strengthen me, I'm so powerful I could fly
But I stumble often, I'm not as perfect as I seem
All this anger in my chest I keep hidden behind the scenes
Along a journey and my growth, I'm only a human being
More Than Music is precisely what all of these lyrics mean
It means I'm incomplete, broken, often misunderstood
On this lonely road we walk, never gave up when others would
Found in a lost place, done everything that I should
Just 'cause there's darkness in my past it doesn't mean I'm not good

I swear I'm trying
My side is beautiful
I swear I'm trying
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know

My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful
My side is beautiful, I know
My side is beautiful, I know
Yeah