"lackluster at best, a masterpiece at worst" lyrics

Forgive and forget
I forged this in red ink
Always assured myself that blood's more thick
But without water, how will I drink
And quench my thirst for your sweet curse?
I've been a sucker since birth

But that doesn't mean I can't forgive her
I know it'll be a long winter without her
But I'll be fine with or without her
Until I have my outburst

Sudden knees gets weak, that's underneath
A week goes by, she's in my dreams each night
I just can't seem to set aside the time to try and get it right
That's right, I'm getting by
Just trying not to be left again

Pessimistic, tell me it's right, oh, no, it isn't
Tryna fight myself with optimism
Tryna find myself in all this liquor
Tryna fill my mind, but it always is her
Can I occupy my heart? Can't miss her tonight
Tell me I have my own mission to find
But how can I, how can I?

How can I devote this emotion?
Motionless in bed, always hoping
That the songs I wrote can do this feeling justice
I'm not good enough, it's never sufficient

I can't mind my own business
I don't know my own limits
I'm sorry you have to witness this

My hands are shaking
My bones are aching
I know I'm making a scene, but I'll settle down
I'll make a mess to make amends
You want forgiveness? Just take it then
I'll say it's fixed, but can't begin
To accept reality if that's what this is

Pessimistic, tell me it's right, oh, no, it isn't
Tryna fight myself with optimism
Tryna find myself in all this liquor
Tryna fill my mind, but it always is her

Could I have my space? No, you need yours
I take it back, I'm wrong, of course
I'm always right, but I'll say you are
If it gets us far and we stay our course
And it's only fair
Keep it in the fairway, it's better there

Tell me your dreams, I'll get us there
They're always watching, let 'em stare
They're always watching, look this way
I take it back, please look away

I anticipate my next mistake
Is coming soon and it could be great
Expectations never met
You probably wish we never met
But that's okay, I'll make my way back to you
I'm not ready yet

Ready, set, go
Said you'd never, ever let go
Of my hand, but you exchanged mine for another one
Used my last chance, I need another one

But I lost you with empty promises that I regret every day
Wish I could mend all that had happened, but the pieces are broken
Look at the time that I wasted
On you and your selfish ways

Deception written on your face
I hate that I'm so addicted to you
When you told me you loved me, knew it wasn't true

But I'm trying to figure it out
Trying to keep it together
I'm coming apart at the seams
Promise it's not as it seems

Need your attention for a minute, darling
Feel like a dog digging through the garbage
Trying to savor what's left of this connection that we once had
I guess it's all in the past

But I'm trying to figure it out
Trying to keep it together
I'm coming apart at the seams
Promise it's not as it seems

Need your attention for a minute, darling
Feel like a dog digging through the garbage
Trying to savor what's left of this connection that we once had
I guess it's all in the past