"nature" lyrics

Fuck me, I'm a tidal wave 'bout to make the city fall down
I'm clean 'til I'm pretty wasted
'Cause you're getting wasted
'Cause you're like that now
I'm not sure anymore
If I can make you turn around, open doors
'Cause I don't like me when I'm acting out
Living like a civil war

But I want what I can't, I can't help myself
I'm selfish in love, I love you too much
I'm fucking this up
But I can't hold it in
So I say it out loud, it's loud in my head
My head's ringing out, "I wanna be dead"
But I can't do it, no I can't change a thing

It's just my nature, I guess
Like I wanna make sure that you hate me again
And I'm not gonna fix it or pretend
When it's just my nature

Sideways, like a sheet of rain
Maybe I should straighten my mind
Do things for the thrill of it
Take a pill of it just to see if it works this time
I'm not sure anymore
If I can keep holding up what I forged up about me
Train wreck, I still got it bad
Hating that you made me like that

But I want what I can, I can't help myself
I'm selfish, in love, I love you too much
I'm fucking this up
But I can't hold it in
'Cause it's loud in my head, I say it out loud
It's all ringing out, "I wanna be proud"
But I can't do it, yeah I can't change a thing

It's just my nature again
Like I wanna make sure that you hate me, I guess
And I'm not gonna fix it or pretend
When it's just my nature
Yeah it's just my nature, no

So I do it again, I'm playing it up
And hating myself for letting me down
Yeah how am I weaker than everyone else
Telling me what's really in love
'Cause you're fucking not and I can't get over it
Taking the hit, I'm losing myself
But still holding on 'cause funny enough
You're all that I know that I want
It's all that I know

It's just my nature
I wanna make sure that you hate me again
And I'm not gonna fix it or pretend