"Backseat" lyrics

When I'm sitting in the backseat
I be staring at the window, looking for a signal
Wishin' life was simple 'cause no one understands me
I be livin' in my head, feel like my spirit is dead
I'm just tryin' to get ahead, anxiety has me
Feeling like I don't belong, so I sit and write these songs
There's nobody I can call, this all has me
Feeling so, yeah

I can't even lie and pretend
I feel like I'm on the edge, I want my torment to end
I locked all my issues up, but they just keep barging in
I fell so many fucking times, I can't get up again
Devil keeps playing games, I keep letting him win
I wake up everyday, battling the pain I'm against
I feel alone, this is how my whole life has been
They see me as a percentage, or a flex to their friends
That's fucked up, fuck love 'cause, I don't wanna hear about it
I don't even drink but, get a bottle, I'ma down it
Even in an empty room, I'm feeling like it's hella crowded
'Cause my demons started creepin' in and leaving me surrounded
I just wanna walk away, and I swear I got a lot to say
Maybe I should pray, God find me 'cause I'm lost
These are always in my thoughts (My thoughts!)

When I'm sitting in the backseat
I be staring at the window, looking for a signal
Wishin' life was simple 'cause no one understands me
I be livin' in my head, feel like my spirit is dead
I'm just tryin' to get ahead, anxiety has me
Feeling like I don't belong, so I sit and write these songs
There's nobody I can call, this all has me (This all has me)
This all has me (Oh no)

Yeah
Sometimes I like to go for a ride, and play the music loud
Just so I can quiet my mind
My thoughts trickle and the voices keep feeding me lies
I push them aside, I run, but they gon' always arrive
I need to run run, need a someone, but I never did
Find love 'cause, I feel like it don't exist
And that's my ex's fault, and that's my fault too
'Cause I should've ran, but I took her back again
But it's okay, I'll take blame for it (Blame for it!)
And I know that karma's real when she gon' pay for it (Pay for it!)
And she promised a better future and I stayed for it (Stayed for it!)
Now my heart is cold, don't want love 'cause there's no place for it (No place!)
So I'm 'bout to move on (Move on), I would rather be alone
Trauma that I carried from a broken home
Got me hidden, different lows, tryin' to stay under control
But my thoughts, they just tend to roam (They tend to roam!)

When I'm sitting in the backseat
I be staring at the window, looking for a signal
Wishin' life was simple 'cause no one understands me
I be livin' in my head, feel like my spirit is dead
I'm just tryin' to get ahead, anxiety has me
Feeling like I don't belong, so I sit and write these songs
There's nobody I can call, this all has me (This all has me)
Yeah, this all has me (Oh no)