"hate myself" lyrics

I can say things I don't always mean
When people get too close to me
Don't know where it comes from, honestly
And you, weren't perfect, yeah, you had your lows
But I'd say you got pretty close
Don't know how you could put up with me

I was so caught up in my own thoughts
Don't think that I understood
When you said that you just couldn't take it
That I would lose you for good

I didn't think this over
Fell back when you got closer
After I just put you right through hell
You couldn't hate me more than I hate myself
I'd always act so selfish
Had shit I hadn't dealt with
After I just put you right through hell
You couldn't hate me more than I hate myself

We both know I might be the worst at goodbyes
But I looked at you straight and I lied
And acted like I'd be fine
Sometimes when I care, I think I tend to shut off
Like nothing could matter enough
Why would you let me keep doing that?
You should've stopped me

But I was so caught up in my own thoughts
Don't think that I understood
When you said that you just couldn't take it
That I would lose you for good

I didn't think this over
Fell back when you got closer
After I just put you right through hell
You couldn't hate me more than I hate myself
I'd always act so selfish
Had shit I hadn't dealt with
After I just put you right through hell
You couldn't hate me more than I hate myself

So off I go to hurt you again
I'll shut you out to try and forget
That I'm the one who's fucked in the end
'Cause, baby, you'll be happier with someone else
So off I go to hurt you again
I'll shut you out to try and forget
That I'm the one who's fucked in the end
'Cause you couldn't hate me more than I hate myself

I didn't think this over
Fell back when you got closer
After I just put you right through hell
You couldn't hate me more than I hate myself