"Even If I Never Get There" lyrics

I'm a mess
Growing stagnant I'm a fragment of my best
Something different. Inconsistent. Another miss
I don't know if I'll be getting up from this
But I digress

Cos I don't love myself like I'm supposed to
Every self affirming thought I have just fades away with time
Never ask me. I don't want to lie to you
Still fighting, just in silence, there's a peace I'm yet to find

Cut and scrape and bend and break
Everything just stays the same
I just deteriorate

Who'd have thought I would be getting up again
I'm a hater, getting tired of this trend
Win or lose. Still I move.
Barely so - but I still do
I feel like I'm pulling through

I've been breaking down my walls
Cos I won't live inside forever
I just feel so fucking small
Bend and break. Cut and scrape. All the better

Now by body's too worn out to second guess
Writing verses just to nurse whatever's left
Still the same. I can change.
Not another rearrange
A cry for help and no one came

I've been breaking down my walls
Cos I won't live inside forever
I just feel so fucking small
Bend and break. Cut and scrape. All the better

I've been bracing for the fall
Sometimes I wish I'd stayed inside
I can't run but walking tall
Not too late. Brand new day. I'll be better

Cut and scrape and bend and break
Everything just stays the same
I just deteriorate