"Composure" lyrics

I medicate myself
So I don't have to feel the water rising
Or my lungs losing air
If I drown, will I find closure
Will I loose composure
Will I even care

How far will I sink
Before the depths consume me
Will my feet ever touch the ground
I can feel the current pulling me down

Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm to far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go

I'll destroy myself
For the sake of feeling different
For the sake of feeling fine
If I can't step back from this ledge
I'm sorry that I left you
Without saying goodbye

Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm to far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go
If I drift away
Will it cure the ache
Or will the pain find another heart to break

What if the hurting doesn't end with me
What if I end it all except the suffering
Who will hold the weight that I can't carry
Who will have to live once I'm dead and buried

Drag the lake but you won't find me
I'm to far down below
I'm so tired of treading water
Maybe it's time for me to let go
If I drift away
Will it cure the ache
Or will the pain find another heart to break