"The Baseball Game" lyrics

We're sitting
And watching Jason play baseball
We're watching Jason play baseball
We're watching Jewish boys
Who cannot play baseball play baseball
We're watching Jewish boys
Who cannot play baseball play

I hate baseball
I really do
Unlike the rest of you
I hate baseball

We really wish he'd take this more seriously
It's weird how he swings the bat
It's weird how he swings the bat
And why does he have to throw like that?

We're sitting
And watching Jason make errors
The most pathetical errors
We're watching Jewish boys
Who almost read Latin
Up battin'
And battin' bad

Remember Sandy Colfax? You can do it
If you wanna do it
Take heart from Hank Greenberg
It's not genetic
Even you can be copacetic
I think, I think, I think you can
I think you can

We're sitting
And watching Jason play baseball
We're watching Jason play baseball
We're watching Jewish boys
We're watching Jewish boys
We're watching
Slide, Jason, slide, Jason
Slide

What is he doing here?
What are you doing here?
Jason asked me to come
Since he asked me to come
I came

Just what I wanted at a Little League game
My ex-husband's ex-lover
Isn't that what every mother dreams about
Having at a Little League game?

Looking at Whizzer is like eating trayf

That kid was out
That kid was safe
That kid was out
That kid was safe
Baby, let's focus on the game

Hey
I love baseball
I love Jason
That's what I'm doing here

Hey
Where the hell'd they get that umpire?
Oops, sorry, sorry

Look who's here
Say hello (Hello)
You're looking sweeter than a donut
Marvin
Whizzer
Is he still queer?
Am I queer?
I don't know
Does it matter?
It's been so long since I could tell
Sit in front of me
I wanna see the bald spot
Come on, come on
Move in front of me
It gives me pleasure to see the bald spot
Since it's the only physical imperfection that you've got
I wanna see it
I wanna touch it
I wanna run my hands through it

We're sitting
And watch the kid as he misses
We're watching Marvin throw kisses
We're watching sixty-seven pounders
Watching Jewish boys miss grounders
Watching boys feel, boys bat
Boys miss, boys at
Watching Jason on deck
Swinging the bat
(Here we go, honey!)

Hey, Jason!
Oh, hi, Whizzer
Glad you came

Keep your head in the box
Don't think of a thing
Keep your head in the box
Your eye on the ball
Take a breath and let it out and swing

That's what I'm talking about
See, that's how it's supposed to look

Keep your head in the box
(Keep your head in the box)
Don't think of a thing
(Of a thing)
Keep your head in the box
(Keep your head in the box)
Eye on the ball
(Eye on the ball)
Take a breath and let it out and swing

Okay, go get 'em
Thanks, Whizzer

Even bald, he looks good
Just remember, he's psychotic
He looks damn good, but he's cheap as dirt
Even maniacs can charm, which he does
So beware
And just be careful
When he smiles that smile, avoid him or else
Sound the alert

Whizzer
Marvin
Do you think there's any hope for the kid?
I love Jason, but this is not his venue

How could I know? (How could I know?)
Without him, my life would be boring as shit
(Batter up!)

Jason!
Jason, you gotta stand a little closer to the plate
Next to him (Yes it is)
(Get in there) He's gonna get hit by the ball

Please, God, don't let me make the same mistake

We're sitting
And watching Jason the batter
We know our cheering won't matter
It is the very final inning
And the other team is winning
And there's two outs, two strikes
But the bases are loaded and
Would it be possible to see you or to kiss you
Or to give you a call?

Anything's possible
Jason hits
The ball
Run!