"Diseases Of The Band" lyrics

[Frank Zappa:]
Howdy, folks. All right, here's the deal: This is our last show here in London. Gee, it's gonna be tough. Got a few-a few of the boys are sick tonight (cough, cough) but they're still gonna... GIVE YOU THEIR ALL. I want to introduce you to the members of the rocking teenage combo and tell you which ones are sick and what they've got. Denny Walley on slide and vocals, he has, he has an aluminum finger, and we're gonna have that removed a little bit later in the show. This is Ike Willis. Ike has a... now Ike, Ike is our, uh lead vocalist, our dynamic male vocalist, he's got a sore throat and all sorts of other things wrong with him, he'll never be able to get through the show. The only thing he's got to take care of him is his knitted hat. And of course, Tommy Mars who also has stomach flu, on keyboards. Eh, do you have any other diseases, Tommy? No? He's available. Okay. Ed Mann on percussion. Ed is still healthy. Except, and he told me this backstage, except for his mental health, which he hasn't been doin'... but you have to expect theses things in this kind of a group. And Peter Wolf on keyboards. There's, there apparently is nothing wrong with Peter yet.

[Band Member #1:] He's got stomach flu too

[Frank Zappa:] You have stomach flu too? Ooh, my goodness

[Band Member #2:] He has intestinal flu

[Band Member #3:] The keyboard disease

[Band Member #1:] They're coming up here...

[Frank Zappa:]
The circle is closing in. Okay, Vince Colaiuta on drums. Now, as you can see from looking at Vince, there is absolutely nothing wrong with him.

[Band Member #2:] Malnutrition

[Vinnie:] Hey, c'mon. I'm workin' on it.

[Frank Zappa:]
Arthur Barrow, our bass player, he's got a, he's having a lot of trouble, he's been very sick all day, missed the soundcheck and everything, but he's gonna try, he's gonna try really hard. And of course, Sophia Warren on guitar.