"Conversations 2" lyrics

Right, doctor, my name's French
And guess it all starts with my mum, Ged and me we were poor at the start
But my mum worked hard for the food on the table we eat
I guess I really shoulda seen all the pain in her eyes
When she heard that her son was a fiend
But I was too busy plotting and shotting 'cause I wanted to be cool with the Gs
Uh deep down, best step-dad, I'll give it to Phillipe
He showed us the world and he showed us things that only now I'm older I deep
And I've always loved dad never gave a fuck 'bout his past still a father to me
'Cause when I needed a room and I needed a job he's the one that provided the key, but
How the fuck do I deal with pain? I dunno, doc, shit, I could ask you the same
To be honest, I can't sleep anymore I rely on a pack that I smoke through a strain
And it turns me insane the thoughts in my mind that I can't really tame
The things that I see in my head every day and I don't think the lord's always there when I pray, so

I don't know what to do
I don't know who to tell
I don't know what to say
So I pick up my weed
I bill up my zoots
Till I'm high out of face
Doc, I got a child now
Sat here really tryna change my ways
Put things in place for my daughter's sake, or
End up sitting in an awful place
With a violent bunch in an awful cell
Is that a thing I wanna tell my girl?
I'm so fucked up that I can't do well?
And I'm out here looking at my shotgun shells
I'm living in a savage world, but
Doc, that ain't gangster to me
I'm a gentleman with a family to feed
But a fearless man for my family tree
And you ain't seen shit like this
The roads I've walked
The things I've risked
The knives I've gripped
The guns I've slipped
The fights I've had till I broke my wrist
The times I've switched
The dead I've missed
The stacks I've flipped
And the pints I've sipped
Give a fuck 'bout this life that I live
Cause I lost my bro and it's turned me skits
I gotta journey on and speak 'bout the things that you're learning from
It's a matter of time till my earth is gone
As it crumbles putting on a perfect song
For the moment I look at myself
And I think "how the fuck does this shit all end?"
Doc, it's more than music I spill through the ink in my pen
It's more than lyrics that I write on pad
It's more than any amount that I've had
It's more than love and it's more fame
It's more than money and it's more than change
It's a drug so deep in the depths of my brain
It's here through storm, it's there through the rain
It's my only escape