"Dead Pumpkins" lyrics

"J, do you have a Halloween story for the class?"
"Y-y-yeah, um, there was this boy, and he lived in his house
And, um, he went to bed one day, and then when he woke up, um
When he woke up, he was buried up to his head in the dirt
And, um, he couldn't move, and this man came walking along
But instead of the man helping him out, the man just started
Kicking him and kicking him in his face, over and over
And then he got the lawnmower, and then he....."

[Violent J:]
Trick or treat, bon appetit
All the little kiddies running down my street
Gathering candy treats door to door
But they walk past mine, what for?
Probably 'cause the pumpkins on my porch are real
Real human heads carved out with steel
Cut out the eyes, man, it takes but a minute
Rip out the b-b-b-b-brains and put a candle in it
Maybe they leave 'cause I take 'em inside
Come and meet Mother, two years ago she died
Little boys laugh, 'cause they think it's just a dummy
But then the smell hits 'em, mmmmm, smells yummy
Open your bags and I'll give you my treat
Crusty yellow toes off a dead woman's feet
Take me by the hand, and I'll lead you downstairs
And that, little Jimmy, is where you'll spend the next seven years
Starving and weakening, chained to a wall
Staring at a roach, hoping it will crawl
Into your mouth for a tasty cuisine
Yes, my little friends, it's a Dead Pumpkins Halloween

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Aw, yeah! It's that special time again, boys and girls
So come to the pumpkin patch
And bring your candy sack so I can shit in it, you bitch!"

[Violent J:]
Well, I love all the children, but I can't fuck around
Don't come to my door dressed as a clown
'Cause you never know, I might take it the wrong way
'Cause I'm the real wicked juggalocoro Violent J
All year 'round, but I love my Halloween
You'll never get an apple or a purple jelly bean
Droplets of chocolate, a licorice snack
Instead you get a deep-fried French poodle nutsack
Looking out my door, I see no children in sight
Perhaps they're all dead, yesterday was Devil's Night
They burn down the city and they leave it crispy-charred
I light myself on fire, and I dance around my backyard
All the pretty girlies, I can see where you're at
Sitting on your window, I can turn into a bat
Watching you remove all your little clothesies for bed
I crash through the window and land on your head
Drinking the blood, blood is gone to the bone
And now I must leave, Mother's calling me home
Up to the moonlight, I'm gone from the scene
Peace to Detroit City and have a Dead Pumpkin Halloween

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
"Yeah, I'ma snatch your little candy bag
Only I'm gonna tie it around your motherfuckin' neck
And choke you with it Wicked Clown style, motherfucker!

[Shaggy 2 Dope (Violent J):]
(Detroit's in this bitch!)
(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
Check it out, motherfucker! Yeah!
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)
Wicked Clowns in this motherfucker! (Bitch)
(Dead men walk out the graveyard)
Jumpsteady in this motherfucker! (Check it out, y'all)
(All make way for the Joker's Card)
[?] in this motherfucker! (Wicked wicked clown, y'all)

(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
Nate the Mack in this motherfucker! (Wicked wicked clown, y'all)
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)
Tall Jess in this motherfucker! (Wicked clown, wicked clown)
(Dead men walk out the graveyard)
Chucky Motherfucky in this bitch! (Southwest down)
(All make way for the Joker's Card)
Double A in this motherfucker! (Wicked clown)

(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
Billy Bill in this motherfucker! ([?])
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)
[?] in this motherfucker! ([?])
(Dead men walk out the graveyard)
Stephen in this motherfucker! (Southwest down)
(All make way for the Joker's Card)
Yeah, Mike Clark's in the motherfucker! (Wicked wicked clown)

(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
Yo, [?] in this motherfucker! (Wicked clowns)
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)
[?] in this motherfucker! Yeah! (Yeah, yeah)
(Dead men walk out the graveyard)
[?] in this motherfucker! Check it out (Yeah, yeah)
(All make way for the Joker's Card)
[?] in this motherfucker! (Delray, y'all)

(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
Violent J in this motherfucker!
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)
2 Dope in this motherfucker! (Check it out)
(Dead men walk out the graveyard)
Wicked Clowns in this motherfucker, fuck a bitch!
(All make way for the Joker's Card)

(Trick or treat, trick or treat)
(Watch as the dead men walk the street)