"That's What Girls Are For" lyrics

I wanna make one thing crystal clear
When I want an ice-cold beer
Get it real quick and say "Yes, dear"
Those are the words that I wanna hear

We'll get along - you will see
Focus on taking care of me
You gotta make me a priority
'Cause I'm a pretty bitching commodity

Dear old dad, well now he's dead
But when he was alive he always said
"Make those bitches take care of you
'Cause that's what women were born to do!"

That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for!
Cleaning, baking, hot-love making
That's what girls are for!
That's what girls are for!
Taking directions, giving me erections

Do my laundry, pay my bills
Crush my Oxycontin pills
Clean the sheets where my man juice spills
On the weekend you can roto-till

You'll see it's a way of life
Do a good job and you can be my wife!
Load my guns and sharpen my knife
Just kidding you ain't gonna be my wife!

Dear old dad, God rest his soul
He'd wake up in the morning and smoke a bowl
Smack my mom upside the head
"Make me a sandwich" is what he said
Yeah

That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Sewing, cooking, being good looking
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Love me, rub me, suck my nubby!

Anyone can see
When you're waiting on me
Nothing makes me feel more alive!
And I pray every day that somehow we can stay stuck in 1955!

That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Sing it with feeling!
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Even my mom agrees!
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for

That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Wearing high heels and copping some feels
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Kissing licking tastes like chicken!
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
Being real dumb, and making me cum!
That's what girls are for
That's what girls are for
S My D and L my B's some more!