"D & D" lyrics

[Lynch to Teich:] You might wanna get back up here!
[Lynch:] Now this is a song about a guy you might remember from high school
Or, you might be this guy from high school, I dunno
My little harmonica... [plays harmonica]

[Lynch:] I got my 12-sided die and I'm ready to roll with a wizard and my goblin crew
My friends are comin' over to my mom's basement, bringin' Funyuns and the Mountain Dew
[Teich:] I got a big broadsword made outta cardboard, and the stereo's a-pumpin' Zeppelin
It's that time of the night, we turn on the black light
[Both:] Let the Dungeons and the Dragons begin!

[Both:] It's D&D!
[Teich:] Fightin' with the legends of yore
[Both:] It's D&D!
[Teich:] Never kissed a lady before
[Lynch:] Nope!
[Both:] Whoo!

[Lynch:] Now the Lord of the Rings, the Dark Crystal and things, we use these as a reference tool
[Teich:] And when we put on our cloaks and tell warlock jokes
We're the coolest kids at the school!

[Lynch:] [under his breath] No we're not
[Teich:] [also under his breath] I know

[Lynch:] Now Teich's a real bastard, but a fair dungeon master; he's got hit points and charisma to lend
[Teich:] And I rehearse in my room, or what I call the dragon's tomb; when I'm not I'm with my girl friend

[Both:] It's D&D!
[Teich keeps singing, but Lynch stops short]
[Lynch:] [laughs] Wait hold on, I'm sorry
[Teich:] What?
[Lynch:] You got a girlfriend?
[Teich:] ...Yeah! Yeah I - no

[Both:] It's D&D!
[Lynch:] Warriors who terrify
[Both:] It's D&D!
Virgins... till the day... we-e-e-e-e-eeeee...
[Giggling ensues]

[Lynch:] 1, 2, 3, 4!
[Both:] DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIE!