"trauma/response" lyrics

If you don't heal what hurt you
You'll bleed on people who didn't cut you
And sometimes it's too late, feeling less faith
Everyday, it's in poor taste, can you relate?
Up in a headspace
Always find myself back in a bad place
Blame it on my mental state
It's all I can do anyway

The hate I have for myself
Knows no bounds
I always carry it around
Like goddamn baggage hanging in the background
To heal is much like to hurt
It lingers on from bad to worse
Where's the resolve?
It leaves with the blood thirst

I'm terrified of dying
Though I'm equally scared to live
Whenever I was close to being happy
I'd fuck it all up again, rinse and repeat
The problem is always me
And I'm drowning in "I'm sorry's"
I'm sorry for being alive
I'm sorry for wasting your time
And I can't take it back

Or erase any of it
It's the debt that I'll owe
At the cost of being level-headed
Another lesson to weigh me down
Not everything is so fucking profound
Sometimes the next lesson is wanting to kill yourself
Please help me, please help me

If you don't heal what hurt you
You'll bleed on people who didn't cut you
And sometimes it's too late, feeling less faith
Everyday, it's in poor taste, can you relate?
Up in a headspace
Always find myself back in a bad place
Blame it on my mental state
It's all I can do

Sometimes the next lesson
Is trying not to kill yourself
Fuck
This is what it's like, the guilt of a trauma response
Love's not enough to survive on
Love is not enough