"Cantina (BiTrektual Version)" lyrics

Well I went down to Mos Eisley for a converter
Hell ya know how hot it gets on Tatooine
But then I saw that there Cantina
I'll go in for an Orangina
I heard it was rough but how bad could it be?
Well I walked through the door and the music stopped...dead
All manner of man and beast were starein' at me
Seems just one week before, their Twilex slave-girl walked out the door
And I guess I was the next best thing they seen

I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
'cause ya turn the other cheak
But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man

Old Hammerhead, he fixed his mind to screw me
Whipped out his tool and nailed me to the bar
My anus he destroyed
And now I got me, hemeroids
They had to wrench him off my nuts with a gaffe bar
I was hit over the head by old Han Solo
I'd have never guessed that Pirate was a homo
I woke up next to Chewbacca
I was smeared in Wookie Ca ca
And what they did to my poor nipples was a no no

I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
'cause ya turn the other cheak
But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man

Well Salacious Crumb's so small ya cant detect him
Before I knew it, he shoved himself straight in, my rectum
And then, just to be heinous, he screamed real loud out of my anus
Now I got a anal car alarm and I cant disconnect him
Oh greedo Greedily grabbed his green weenie
And he yanked that sucker till it wasn't so tee-nee
He took me into Jabba's hut.
He stared intently at my butt
And then he Ooh-ta-ta'd me with his zucchini

I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
'cause ya turn the other cheak
But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man

Take it away boys!

Well a guy walked up and said "My friend doesn't like you!"
I said "Sorry"
He said "I don't like ya neither ya better watch yourself!"
And then some old dude who taught Vader, chopped his arm off with his saber
And later made for one red hot anal invader
I was broken..on the floor beat to a stooper
But then I was saved! there at the door was 10 stormtroopers!
But then my hopes faded away.. I didn't know they cloned 'em gay
And they each took turns storm troopin' me in the pooper

I lost more than my heart in that Cantina
I left my manhood there on Tatooine
Son, it don't mean you're weak
'cause ya turn the other cheak
But if ya spread em both for Jabba, son, you ain't a man