"Poopin' On The Enterprise (A Monologue)" lyrics

Aurelio Voltaire Lyrics

"Poopin' On The Enterprise (A Monologue)"

Anybody here a Star Trek fan?
I love Star Trek so much, but man they sure make some shit up on that show
It's just unbelievable to me
They're like bouncing graviton beams off the main deflector array
They're like creating rifts in the timespace continuum
And yet, and yet not one toilet on the entire Enterprise, not one
Do these people not poop?
Like in forty years of Star Trek no one has ever said: "Shit I gotta go to the bathroom".
What I wouldn't give to see that one episode: The Poop Episode.
I imagine it would be something like this,
you know like the Klingons are attacking and Picard's on the bridge and he's like: "Worf, you're needed on the bridge!"
"I can't come to the bridge right now captain"
"Worf, that's insubordination, I need you up here immediately!"
"I'm in the latrine captain"
"Oh dear me, I'm sorry, well you know get up here as soon as you can"
And then of course you know Riker's gotta waddle over:
"Did you ask him if it was a number one or a number two?"
"Dear God I..! No I did not ask him if it was a-... Worf is it a number one or a number two?"
"It's a number two! Arg, Sword of Kahless! It's got.. it's got ridges! Arg... Perhaps today is a good day to die!"
This turd has no honor.


You May Also Like
Shayfer James - "Villainous Thing" Welcome, won't you come inside? Oh, I fear the passing year did not deserve you By some devious design Suddenly you're very near as I prefer you Soaked and shivered from the rain You have always been...
Tub Ring - "Keeping Your Memory Alive" I've been seeing the same shapes a lot I've been hoping it's you I've been waiting in case you forgot All the things that we still need to do Grow with me Grow with me Grow with me, bom bom bom Grow...
Ludo - "Lake Pontchartrain" I'll tell it like it happened, it was Darius and Noland and me just a few po' boys trying to get up out of Missouri. Took 55 Louisiana, stopped by the highway to eat They both had crawfish,...
Steam Powered Giraffe - "Malfunction" Who am I? What am I? What's inside? That's causing this Malfunction Mislabeled, unable, to repair this Mal- Functioning just fine, I'm alive At this junction of dysfunction, we arrive What's your...
Blue Kid - "Have To" I'm not a genius I don't pretend to be I'm kind of mouthy And I intend to be And I'm a hot mess There's no defending me It's sweet assault and battery So go ahead and bend to me And if I'm poison Are...