"Miscarriage Blues" lyrics

Never got to hold you close
Never heard your laugh, never watched you grow
But from the second I knew you were there
I dreamed of your face, your smile, your hair
I talked to you every night
Rubbed my belly, held on tight
Made promises I planned to keep
But life had other plans for me
And now I sit here with empty hands
Feeling like I'll never understand
How something so loved could slip away
Like a whisper that couldn't stay

These are my miscarriage blues
Singing to a life I had to lose
They don't talk 'bout this kind of grief
Like I ain't a mother if it was brief
I blame my body, blame the air
Blame God sometimes, then say a prayer
I carry love that never bloomed
Now I carry pain that fills the room

They say, "You're young," they say, "Try again"
But they don't know where my heart's been
I bought clothes I never got to use
I had names I never got to choose
I felt the shift, I knew the day
When silence took your place
And now I walk with guilt and grace
Tryna find the words for your space
I loved you real, I loved you whole
You mattered deep, you had a soul
I still light candles, still say your name
Even if no one else feels the same
You were mine, you still are
Even from the furthest star

These are my miscarriage blues
For the life I never got to choose
They treat it like it don't count
But I lost a world I built around
I smile outside, cry in the dark
Still talk to you from this broken heart
They may forget, but I refuse
You lived in me, you were my truth

Sleep tight, my baby
Mama's still there
Even if the world
Pretends you weren't real