"The Price Of Peace" lyrics

I didn't leave 'cause I stopped loving them
I left cause I started loving me, and peace don't always come free
Sometimes it costs everything
I used to shrink to keep the peace, bit my tongue, held my breath
Let people stay in rooms with me who drained my spirit half to death
I was the glue, the listener, the "you know she'll understand"
But nobody asked how I was, they just reached out for my hands
I kept forgiven silence, excuse, and disrespect
Calling it just how they are while losing pieces of myself

My peace cost me my people, but I ain't sorry for the bill
Had to lose some hearts I held just to learn how to be still
I cried for them in private, even prayed they'd understand
But peace don't come from holding on
To people who don't hold your hand
They say, "You've changed", I say, "I healed"
But healing ain't a place they could stand, so yeah
My peace cost me my people, and that's the part they'll never understand
Ooh, yeah

Family felt entitled, friends felt overdue
But nobody noticed what staying around them put me through
Every time I said "Yes" when my soul whispered "No"
I traded my joy just so they wouldn't go
But peace got louder and God got clear
He said, "If they can't grow with you, then they can't stay near"

My peace cost me my people, but survival had a cost
I had to grieve the living like somebody I had lost
They still talk in circles, still say I changed too much
But I don't miss the noise, I don't miss the clutch
I gave up chaos, I gave up pain
I gave up playing roles in somebody else's game, so yeah
My peace cost me my people, but peace is how I kept my name, name

I don't hate them, I just don't miss begging for love
I don't miss explaining myself to folks who never heard me
I don't miss holding space for people who never held space for me

My peace cost me my people, but I sleep better at night
And I ain't arguing with energy that don't deserve my fight
If choosing me, feel selfish, then I guess I finally chose right
'Cause I lost the crowd, but I found my light
So if you ask me, "Was it worth the tears?," the quiet, the shift, yes

Because peace is finally something I didn't have to beg to live with