"Withdrawals" lyrics

I don't feel how you felt when you looked at me
As a child to see things shouldn't see
For the fact of the matter, nobody needs
Actually, after the passing I couldn't grieve

Every time that youd smile I couldn't sleep
I knew what you were hiding up underneath
And if it's a ride or die with us, somehow we split up in the distance
And I'm wondering what it means
I was only a baby and heard the violence
25 years later, disturbed by silence
When I learned about prison, and learned about pistols
A decade before I had a driver's license
Thank god to my mom when she heard the sirens
Thank god that we're all still alive and I could tell you that I miss you
But I'm at the point you're at peace in the way that I am

I can't keep going through withdrawals
You understand it isn't all my fault
I promised you that I would change
I heard you tell me the same
You let the feeling fade away
I thought tomorrow might've gave us a new day
You promised me that you would change
But you don't and it won't till we're both in the grave
And you felt the same
And you felt the same

Yeah I wish that I didn't think like this
Every time that I close my eyelids
All I see is that note you wrote
When you said goodbye and I just hear violence
Like why in the fuck was I not enough?
You traded it all for another drug
I needed my mom, you needed relief
And I had to call the police

Looking at the kid who didn't really know any other way to deal with the feelings ahead
Always so mad at myself and the way I keep making my present a part of the past
I hated you for the way that you threw us away
And you said you would change
But then I got hooked on them same pills
And now I'm saying

I can't keep going through withdrawals
You understand it isn't all my fault
I promised you that I would change
I heard you tell me the same
You let the feeling fade away
I thought tomorrow might've gave us a new day
You promised me that you would change
But you don't and it won't till we're both in the grave
And you felt the same
And you felt the same

If time heals all
Why do I still bleed
You watched me fall
But I can't keep

I can't keep going through withdrawals
You understand it isn't all my fault
I promised you that I would change
I heard you tell me the same
You let the feeling fade away
I thought tomorrow might've gave us a new day
You promised me that you would change
But you don't and it won't till we're both in the grave
And you felt the same
And you felt the same