"An Endless Loop" lyrics

I'm on the edge looking down
From this distance the figures are blurred on the ground
A sense of shame that I can't quantify
I broke every promise, I told every lie
I know something is fucked up inside of my mind
And I'm not sure I can do better next time
It's alright, it's okay, you don't have to wait

So I feigned confidence and promised I'd be fine
But what I meant was that I don't like me inside
So I pretend it's not inherent and doesn't define me
Oh God, I wish that was what I believed

It's days like this that I am a shade that I wish that I weren't
Ruminating over things until they hurt
My mother's praying to Theresa for sure
But I'm not sure that there is a cure

I feigned confidence and promised I'd be fine
But what I meant was that I don't like me inside
So I pretend it's not inherent and doesn't define me
Oh God, I wish that was what I believed

Even breathing can feel defeating
With compounding thoughts of loss and no sense of hope

Concentration weaponized
An endless loop of things I can't seem to describe
I flipped the tape, I cut the line
But I can't seem to change the way that I still feel inside