"Upside" lyrics

Been a long road, yeah it's been a long time
Remember I was 12 when I wrote my first rhyme
Living in hell inside of my mind
Outside don't know the feelings I hide
Then I got older start to make songs
Feelings got colder jot in my palms
Teacher don't know the weight of mind
Turn in my folder start of grade 9
Wish I could've done it back in grade 6
Outside feel dark but I'ma make hits
I sold my time was time to take risks
Trade in my flesh to flash out my wrist

Hit up that studio the first time
Didn't know then I'd take about
500 more till I put out a song
And Artesia was born
But that just was the start
One of those studios made a few hits
One of them kept me from being homeless
But then I turned a new page of my life and
Was tired of waiting
I wanted to fly

Flying meant lose a homie, nandina
Flying meant lose another, I see ya
Flying meant honestly, I shouldn't be here
Never tried it myself, but hell did that reaper
Broken car
A broken heart
A broken promise didn't make me stop
Broke feels oh so long ago
But just wrote my check to write me off
Spent about $20,000 on the tour
Independently, I ain't got it offshore
Bank account been froze like 4 months in but
I know y'all got the boy

Don't wanna follow
I can feel tomorrow
Closing that door again
Can feel the sorrow
Lost inside tomorrow
Where does the start begin?
But I'm on the upside f the wrong time
Outside is on fire
Don't wanna follow
I can feel tomorrow