"chekhov's guns" lyrics

If I had a bad day every time that I'd said I had a bad day
Then I wouldn't be the owner of this snooker hall
My winning smile trained on a second one
With the utmost respect
You are not a big fish until you sink ships
Well, my ship is not sinking in this bathtub
It is empty and the taps are just monuments

The terror of sign-posts has reduced my social circle
To the man in the corner shop who has never changed a lightbulb

If I knew a good thing every time that I'd said I knew a good thing
Then I wouldn't be a member of this firing squad
And my throat would not burn with the friction
I am totally fine with the use of my picture in your pamphlets
If in turn you will paint me like your piglets
If in turn you will paint me like your piglets
Don't hold back

Our medium sized regrets are dependent on perspective
When you've got so many in the bank, they're impossible to measure

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chekhov's guns
Shout out the end at the top of your lungs
'Cause who's got time to be fucking around?
Not me, not you, or the other characters
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chekhov's guns
Shout out the end at the top of your lungs
'Cause who's got time to be fucking around?
Not me, not you, or the other characters

No truth told, no manners sold
No conspiracy, no conspiracy, no conspiracy
No truth told, no manners sold
No conspiracy, no conspiracy, no conspiracy
No truth told, no manners sold
No conspiracy, no conspiracy, no conspiracy
No truth told, no manners sold
No conspiracy, no conspiracy, no

Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chekhov's guns
Shout out the end at the top of your lungs
'Cause who's got time to be fucking around?
Not me, not you, or the other characters
Ch-ch-ch-ch-Chekhov's guns
Shout out the end at the top of your lungs
'Cause who's got time to be fucking around?
Not me, not you, or the other characters