"Mario À La Kart" lyrics
[Arin:] He's been practicing racing, he drove for NASCAR
He's a normal human being with a normal ass car
He tips his hat to Mario, they ring the Mushroom Cup bell
He steps on the gas... RED TURTLE SHELL
Ah no. (Racer: Oh My God!)
[Arin:] Ahhh no. (Racer: Oh God)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Maybe this was some kind of accident or something?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: I don't know)
[Arin:] Boy that was violent (Racer: Uh huh)
[Arin:] His head is no bueno (Racer: I'm sure it's fine)
[Arin:] He's used to pavement, now he's racing on a rainbow
(Racer: What?)
[Arin:] He guesses he'll adjust, through sheer force of will
(Racer: I guess)
[Arin:] But suddenly there's company (Racer: Oh, is it like another racer or something?)
BULLET BILL
(Racer: Was that a bullet?!)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Like a giant bullet, are you for real?)
[Arin:] Yah! All right!
[Arin:] His upper lip is bleeding, he thought this was a race (Racer: Dude)
[Arin:] But then he was assaulted by a bullet with a face
(Racer: This isn't happening)
[Arin:] He's sure there's no brain damage (Racer: I'm not)
[Arin:] I don't know how he's sure (Racer: I'm not!)
[Arin:] As long as he can keep the speed (Racer: Oh god what now?)
LIGHTNING BOLT
(Racer: Oh no, I gotta get out of here what the fuck is happening! Holy shit!)
[Arin:] He's tiny! He's tiny! And then he gets run over!
All his bones and blood and organs are mixed up with the motor (Racer: Help!)
[Arin:] He's an abomination of God, but at least he has 10 coins (Racer: I don't care!)
[Arin:] He's going to die, oh god he's going to die (Racer: Oh no!)
BOOMERANG TO THE GROIN
(Racer: Oh god... Somehow that was the worst one)
[Arin:] Yup! (Racer: Ooooo)
[Arin:] It hurts! Aww! (Racer: You gotta get me out of here, man)
[Arin:] Nope! (Racer: This is crazy!)
[Arin:] I know! (Racer: I'm gonna die out here, man I'm gonna die!)
[Arin:] I know! (Racer: Why are you doing this?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: But...)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: That's not an answer man!)
THREE RED SHELLS
(Racer: Ugh! Oh god why are you doing this? Ahhhh!)
THREE MORE RED SHELLS
You like that, bitch?
He's in 8th place now (Racer: We're still doin' this?)
[Arin:] Oh, yes we are (Racer: Fuck!)
[Arin:] His skin is peeling off and he's coughing up tar
(Racer: I think I see a way out!)
[Arin:] His bones are baby food (Racer: Fuck you, I'm going off course! I'm outta here!)
[Arin:] He thinks he's getting away! (Racer: YAH!) LAKITU PICKS YOU UP
(Racer: Oh I'm here forever aren't I?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Ahh)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: What'd I do to deserve this, man?)
[Arin:] Ah, you don't remember?
YOU CALLED HIS DAD A CUCK
[Arin:] That's right! (Racer: Steven?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Oh!)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: I'm sorry man, dude we were kids!)
[Arin:] That's not enough! (Racer: What do you want, money? You want my car?)
[Arin:] Don't want your stuff
But there's something you can do to make this all better (Racer: Anything!)
[Arin:] Apologize to Candice (Racer: Who's Candice?)
[Arin:] Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Gottee!
[Arin:] Yusss!
He's a normal human being with a normal ass car
He tips his hat to Mario, they ring the Mushroom Cup bell
He steps on the gas... RED TURTLE SHELL
Ah no. (Racer: Oh My God!)
[Arin:] Ahhh no. (Racer: Oh God)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Maybe this was some kind of accident or something?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: I don't know)
[Arin:] Boy that was violent (Racer: Uh huh)
[Arin:] His head is no bueno (Racer: I'm sure it's fine)
[Arin:] He's used to pavement, now he's racing on a rainbow
(Racer: What?)
[Arin:] He guesses he'll adjust, through sheer force of will
(Racer: I guess)
[Arin:] But suddenly there's company (Racer: Oh, is it like another racer or something?)
BULLET BILL
(Racer: Was that a bullet?!)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Like a giant bullet, are you for real?)
[Arin:] Yah! All right!
[Arin:] His upper lip is bleeding, he thought this was a race (Racer: Dude)
[Arin:] But then he was assaulted by a bullet with a face
(Racer: This isn't happening)
[Arin:] He's sure there's no brain damage (Racer: I'm not)
[Arin:] I don't know how he's sure (Racer: I'm not!)
[Arin:] As long as he can keep the speed (Racer: Oh god what now?)
LIGHTNING BOLT
(Racer: Oh no, I gotta get out of here what the fuck is happening! Holy shit!)
[Arin:] He's tiny! He's tiny! And then he gets run over!
All his bones and blood and organs are mixed up with the motor (Racer: Help!)
[Arin:] He's an abomination of God, but at least he has 10 coins (Racer: I don't care!)
[Arin:] He's going to die, oh god he's going to die (Racer: Oh no!)
BOOMERANG TO THE GROIN
(Racer: Oh god... Somehow that was the worst one)
[Arin:] Yup! (Racer: Ooooo)
[Arin:] It hurts! Aww! (Racer: You gotta get me out of here, man)
[Arin:] Nope! (Racer: This is crazy!)
[Arin:] I know! (Racer: I'm gonna die out here, man I'm gonna die!)
[Arin:] I know! (Racer: Why are you doing this?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: But...)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: That's not an answer man!)
THREE RED SHELLS
(Racer: Ugh! Oh god why are you doing this? Ahhhh!)
THREE MORE RED SHELLS
You like that, bitch?
He's in 8th place now (Racer: We're still doin' this?)
[Arin:] Oh, yes we are (Racer: Fuck!)
[Arin:] His skin is peeling off and he's coughing up tar
(Racer: I think I see a way out!)
[Arin:] His bones are baby food (Racer: Fuck you, I'm going off course! I'm outta here!)
[Arin:] He thinks he's getting away! (Racer: YAH!) LAKITU PICKS YOU UP
(Racer: Oh I'm here forever aren't I?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Ahh)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: What'd I do to deserve this, man?)
[Arin:] Ah, you don't remember?
YOU CALLED HIS DAD A CUCK
[Arin:] That's right! (Racer: Steven?)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: Oh!)
[Arin:] Yah! (Racer: I'm sorry man, dude we were kids!)
[Arin:] That's not enough! (Racer: What do you want, money? You want my car?)
[Arin:] Don't want your stuff
But there's something you can do to make this all better (Racer: Anything!)
[Arin:] Apologize to Candice (Racer: Who's Candice?)
[Arin:] Candice dick fit in your mouth?
Gottee!
[Arin:] Yusss!
