"Beautiful, Messed Up Head" lyrics

I hear this lullaby inside my head
It plays a thousand times when I crawl in bed
I'm scared I'm not alright and it drives me mad
These voices in my mind are my only friends

I just had a daughter, a boy became a father
My wife became a mother, the road has met the rubber
Another night at 3 a.m. staring at my ceiling fan
How am I gonna keep my fans? Can I make a hit again to feed my fam?
I'm freaking out, I'm tweaking, man, bleeding out just like Jesus's hands
I'm thirty now, so be a man, my demons love to tease me
And I'm trying to fight 'em, but it doesn't work
I've been fucked up since my birth

I hear this lullaby inside my head
It plays a thousand times when I crawl in bed
I'm scared I'm not alright and it drives me mad
These voices in my mind are my only friends

But I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them

Every time I feel a bit of hope, I start to hit a slope
Devil throws me in the ropes, I think I'm down for the count
Going round after round, keep on doubting myself
If I'on stand up and fight, I ain't getting that belt
So I swing back and I bloody up my fists, where those teeth at?
I can't relax, yeah, I'm my biggest foe, I can see that
So I think fast, I did it my own way
Now I'm in my own way, so own it and go face those demons

I hear this lullaby inside my head
It plays a thousand times when I crawl in bed
I'm scared I'm not alright and it drives me mad
These voices in my mind are my only friends

But I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them
I'm afraid of them, I'm afraid of them

And in the end, it's just me against my thoughts
I've spent my whole life trying to turn them off
Now I think I know just how to make amends
Don't be scared to love the voice in your beautiful, messed up head