"Self Destruct" lyrics

I don't know if I've been sleeping or awake
Can you save me from myself now? (Yeah)
I don't feel safe with no one else 'round
Everybody watching me while I fight to breathe
But I choose to do this myself
And, know, maybe I've been too hurt to trust
Still don't think I deserve enough
And when things go right, I'm reminded of all that is evil
I've got that reside in the blood on a slow leak
I can feel the change when I'm on the path, but I can't let it go
Want you to feel the way that I feel and try to get you to hear
But you won't

Fallin', I made this bed that I crawl in
The darkness in me is calling
And all the while the clock ticks down

I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage when I self-destruct
I didn't want for this to be how it ends
But everything dies when
I turn to you, but you turn away
Why do I make you afraid?
I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage, so I self-destruct

Coming undone, I'm afraid every time that I love somethin'
I'ma hold too tight 'til it’s fucked up
Am I the one, or the one you should run from, huh?
I've bottled it up, blame all the trauma, the system corrupt
Sick of pretending I'm not at the ending
And tellin' my friends I'm okay when it's just never enough
Ne-never a moment to let you in
I don't know if I'll be anything better than
What I've become, so I cut the connection
And if there's a button to end it, I'm pressing it

Fallin', I made this bed that I crawl in
The darkness in me is calling
And all the while the clock ticks down

I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage when I self-destruct
I didn't want for this to be how it ends
But everything dies when
I turn to you, but you turn away
Why do I make you afraid?
I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage, so I self-destruct

So I self-destruct, 'truct, 'truct
So I self-destruct
So I self-destruct, 'truct, 'truct
So I self-destruct, I self-destruct

Now I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage when I self-destruct
I didn't want for this to be how it ends
But everything dies when
I turn to you, but you turn away
Why do I make you afraid?
I'm giving up, I've had enough
And I know I can't escape all this damage, so I self-destruct