"Snikt!" lyrics
I'm not a soldier, I'm older and sober
Heroes were vanquished, the villains took over
I murdered my mutants, Mysterio's doin'
Abandoned the mansion and left it in ruins
I tried to escape and start a new life
Retired and acquired two kids and one wife
In the land of the Sac', no threat of attack
Just working the land with adamantium hands
No missions, just kitchen and preppin' the veggies
Mendin' the fences, no fendin' off wedgies
No Spandex dramatics, traumatic disorders
Just staying indoors or the cordoned off borders
Don't own but I lease, the payments increase
When I can make them, not often, no feasts
Barely surviving, I'm dyin' like Wiest
Hillbillies will kill me, there's really no peace
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I have got it made with my children, Scotty, Jade
No more boozin', 'kay with losin', I am choosing to behave
Hands are clean now, Maureen is the only one I save
Then a buddy in a buggy had to bug me and I caved
He's blind as a bat, NAVSAT was our gear
My job was navigation, had to tell him where to steer
Night Nurse said he's cursed and wouldn't live out the year
Only had a month to confront the ones he held dear
He never told me that but I could see his eye was fried
Never miss was his niche, now he's wishing that applied
A briefcase full of drugs we'd deliver to the district
It was Super-Soldier Serum if we're being realistic
Went to Hammer Falls, pay a call on his kid
Peter Parker's granddaughter so they call her Spider-Bitch
Wanted to kill the Kingpin and get all kinds of rich
Told her henchmen get 'em and we left them in a pinch
Moloids on 'roids were destroying civic centers
Sinking urban areas, what a nefarious endeavor
They were nipping at our wheels but Mobile's kinda clever
We outran them then resurfaced then got nervous, wish we'd never
Dinosaurs were, of course, now free to roam the country
Imported from the Savage Land and, boy, was homeboy hungry
Tyrannosaurus Rex want to flex, he's corrupted
By Eddie's friendly bestie who will crush you like a bunk bed
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
The venomous friend of his promptly put aside
This archer needs departure, more than ready to arrive
Teleported by important people, knew we need a ride
Black Bolt told the symbiote better run and hide
Emma Frost was the boss, she was secretly decrepit
Hiding her appearance, I still want to see her naked
Scratch that, that's over, I'm a changed Canadian
No more random hook-ups, no more hangovers at 8 AM
No fighting 'cause I'm spiteful, no more random acts of violence
No decapitating ninjas on some distant Asian island
We made it to the meeting where we'd sell our secret sauce
The client is compromised, write it off as a loss
They killed Clint, wished they didn't in a minute, they're just slime
They killed me too, if they only knew my healing factor's fine
Next thing I am surrounded by the weapons of my peers
These artifacts won't bring them back, feels like there's no one here
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
Red Skull likes to come here when he wants to feel inspired
His guards weren't very hard and I'm hardly feeling tired
Closed the deal with Captain's shield, coulda sworn I heard him clappin'
Brought me to a weapons room, what you think was gonna happen?
Why did Barton start this, was he harpin' on a harp?
Strapped on the suit of Stark; well, just the important parts
I flew home to my farm feelin' rich, they won't evict
Found that they're all dead, seeing red, going snikt!
Took out Eustace, took out Otis, took out Rufus, and you know this
Woody, Bobbie Jo, and Elrod, everybody was a bonus
Jennifer Walters human that's altered, shouldn't have faltered with her family
Fucked her cousin, now there's dozens and they're mumbling and they're rambling
I am violent, I am valiant, now they're a dead inbred battalion
Come out, Banner, if you can or are you just a scared rapscallion?
Tries to take me in his human form, then Hulks out for an advantage
Swallows me whole, then I explode out of his belly, I am the baddest
He leaves behind a baby and I strap him to my back
We head out for east and any villains we can sack
With this infant as assistant, I will resurrect the ranks
I will take back this whole country and I won't need any thanks
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
Heroes were vanquished, the villains took over
I murdered my mutants, Mysterio's doin'
Abandoned the mansion and left it in ruins
I tried to escape and start a new life
Retired and acquired two kids and one wife
In the land of the Sac', no threat of attack
Just working the land with adamantium hands
No missions, just kitchen and preppin' the veggies
Mendin' the fences, no fendin' off wedgies
No Spandex dramatics, traumatic disorders
Just staying indoors or the cordoned off borders
Don't own but I lease, the payments increase
When I can make them, not often, no feasts
Barely surviving, I'm dyin' like Wiest
Hillbillies will kill me, there's really no peace
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I have got it made with my children, Scotty, Jade
No more boozin', 'kay with losin', I am choosing to behave
Hands are clean now, Maureen is the only one I save
Then a buddy in a buggy had to bug me and I caved
He's blind as a bat, NAVSAT was our gear
My job was navigation, had to tell him where to steer
Night Nurse said he's cursed and wouldn't live out the year
Only had a month to confront the ones he held dear
He never told me that but I could see his eye was fried
Never miss was his niche, now he's wishing that applied
A briefcase full of drugs we'd deliver to the district
It was Super-Soldier Serum if we're being realistic
Went to Hammer Falls, pay a call on his kid
Peter Parker's granddaughter so they call her Spider-Bitch
Wanted to kill the Kingpin and get all kinds of rich
Told her henchmen get 'em and we left them in a pinch
Moloids on 'roids were destroying civic centers
Sinking urban areas, what a nefarious endeavor
They were nipping at our wheels but Mobile's kinda clever
We outran them then resurfaced then got nervous, wish we'd never
Dinosaurs were, of course, now free to roam the country
Imported from the Savage Land and, boy, was homeboy hungry
Tyrannosaurus Rex want to flex, he's corrupted
By Eddie's friendly bestie who will crush you like a bunk bed
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
The venomous friend of his promptly put aside
This archer needs departure, more than ready to arrive
Teleported by important people, knew we need a ride
Black Bolt told the symbiote better run and hide
Emma Frost was the boss, she was secretly decrepit
Hiding her appearance, I still want to see her naked
Scratch that, that's over, I'm a changed Canadian
No more random hook-ups, no more hangovers at 8 AM
No fighting 'cause I'm spiteful, no more random acts of violence
No decapitating ninjas on some distant Asian island
We made it to the meeting where we'd sell our secret sauce
The client is compromised, write it off as a loss
They killed Clint, wished they didn't in a minute, they're just slime
They killed me too, if they only knew my healing factor's fine
Next thing I am surrounded by the weapons of my peers
These artifacts won't bring them back, feels like there's no one here
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
Red Skull likes to come here when he wants to feel inspired
His guards weren't very hard and I'm hardly feeling tired
Closed the deal with Captain's shield, coulda sworn I heard him clappin'
Brought me to a weapons room, what you think was gonna happen?
Why did Barton start this, was he harpin' on a harp?
Strapped on the suit of Stark; well, just the important parts
I flew home to my farm feelin' rich, they won't evict
Found that they're all dead, seeing red, going snikt!
Took out Eustace, took out Otis, took out Rufus, and you know this
Woody, Bobbie Jo, and Elrod, everybody was a bonus
Jennifer Walters human that's altered, shouldn't have faltered with her family
Fucked her cousin, now there's dozens and they're mumbling and they're rambling
I am violent, I am valiant, now they're a dead inbred battalion
Come out, Banner, if you can or are you just a scared rapscallion?
Tries to take me in his human form, then Hulks out for an advantage
Swallows me whole, then I explode out of his belly, I am the baddest
He leaves behind a baby and I strap him to my back
We head out for east and any villains we can sack
With this infant as assistant, I will resurrect the ranks
I will take back this whole country and I won't need any thanks
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
I'm not jokin', I'm Old Man Logan
Old like the dirt that I plow when the plow's not broken
Can't make me mad, won't react, no provokin'
Left that life behind, it's a sign I've awoken
