"kind of a joke but not actually" lyrics

I'd cut off limbs if you could swim with them
I'll drown to keep you safe
I'd buy you meals when I can barely pay my rent if it made your day
I'd risk it all if it means you'd call me with a smile on your face
You love to talk and I love to listen, I'll memorize every complaint

I'm 32 and writing songs about my high school crush
Don't do the math about how weird it is and I miss the way she was
I'll post a story telling Everyone I'm sad, don't hit me up
And when you don't I'll say your leaving me like everybody does

Self deprecation so relatable since we all hate ourselves
I'll sing about my insecurities till you hate me as well
If the guy you're talking to relates to this then you should save yourself
'Cause he's still in love with his ex girlfriend and it's not that hard to tell

You're far from ordinary
And my obsession sort of scares me
It's been too long since moving on seamed more than necessary
Feels like I'm losing a limb
How could I swim through the current without my arm
It's like I had an infection that you won't believe I'd fix so I cut it off

My mom still asks about you
She's bad at moving on
She's met a few but asks about you more than anyone
We talk it through like you're an episode that we rerun
One final dose are cutting close but our show still goes on

Self deprecation so relatable since we all hate ourselves
I'll sing about my insecurities till you hate me as well
If the guy you're talking to relates to this then you should save yourself
'Cause he's still in love with his ex girlfriend and it's not that hard to tell