"Videogames" lyrics

It's the year of the Beast!
I'm on it like Sonic
It is on like Donkey Kong
I'm gonna tell you like—
Shut up! Just do the song
Okay

I like games, they're hot to turn on
You can cheat 'em, and they don't get pissed when you're gone
You complete them, they don't hang around wantin' more
And the only thing that matters is to get top score
Girlfriends just whine and bitch and moan
But I can get more pleasure when I'm sittin' on my own
Girlfriends just bitch and moan and whine
Get out my fucking room, whore
Read the sign!

I don't wanna take Pebbles for a walk in the street
I don't wanna take you dancing, it hurts my feet
How come my friends understand when I feel pissed off?
I wanna put my cock in Lara Croft!

Video games are better than girlfriends
'Cause you don't have to do things to keep them happy
You just play them
And have numerous amounts of fun

May! (May!)
Be! (Be!)

Life would be better as a video game
I could ride a dragon through the sky like a plane
I could solve a problem with a fight to the death
For the last can of beans, or a glimpse of a breast (Hadouken!)
I'd get paper from robbin' all the banks
"Up, down, left, right, turn"
Gets a tank
RSI on my thumbs from Call of Duty
I'd rather shoot my load at a virtual booty

I don't wanna give advice on your newest dress
I don't wanna wear a trilby, give it a rest
How come my friends understand when I feel pissed off?
I wanna put my dongle in Microsoft!

Video games are better than girlfriends
'Cause you don't have to think of a conversation
You just look at 'em
And turn 'em off when you're bored and done

My time with Mario
Is better than time with you
You can call me a saddo
But it's all I want to do
I'm scared of bajingas
They make me want to hurl
As long as I have fingers
I'll never need a girl