"That's Not My Neighbor: The Musical" lyrics

Something looks a little weird about this Neighbor...
They ain't sitting right with me...
I see you're on the list, but do me one more favor:
Can I please see your ID?

This is a potato, not — you know — a license
I'm really feeling on the fence...

Won't you please let me in? I am European-
-Oh, that makes so much more sense!

Something seems a little odd about my neighbor...
There's something that I can't quite place...

I'm a normal human bound for my apartment-
-Then what's that thing on your face?

This is called "a pocket!" Many humans have them
Won't you let me go inside...?

That seems vaguely shady
But I trust you, lady
So I'll zip my lip and let this whole hiccup slide

Something seems a little strange about my neighbor...
This neighbor's always wearing a hat...

"Oh, you wanna know about my next door neighbor?
He's right here, eating my cat!"

If you see delinquency
Then just call me and the DDD

Day or night, we'll keep it tight
And smite these blighters dead on sight!

Something seems a little off about my neighbor...
They got an awful lot of eyes-

I just got a little medical procedure-
-That sounds a lot like a lie...

I don't see your name here on my special ledger...
-Oh, I'm just here to dine...

Were I more judicious
That might sound suspicious
But you seem perfectly fine

Howdy! I'm a normal neighbor
Doing harmless human stuff~

Look, I am loath to belabor
That your mug looks really flippin' rough...

I'm allergic to... uh...
"Pollen?"
Yeah! Now I've got this subtle rash

And if I weren't to reach my room
My friends would think I've met my doom
From all this pollen that I've consumed-
So please! Please! PLEASE!

-Please, resume!

Nothing seems remotely wrong about this neighbor
This neighbor's not a lick amiss
I don't see an issue. Everything's in order
Except you aren't on the list...

I have extra milk to bring my human neighbors
I couldn't let it go to waste

Seems extremely gracious
Not at all fallacious
My fears were clearly misplaced

Something's sorta sketchy with this crowd of neighbors...
The way they press against the glass...

Let us in the building! We're not doppelgängers-
-I can't just let you all pass!

Can't you see we're human
Normal, average neighbors?
The real McCoy without a doubt!

Swear that you won't eat me?
-Cross our hearts completely!

As long as I keep the doppelgängers out!
(Here we come! Trust us, we're your neighbors!)
(Flesh and blood, not some shady strangers!)
(Have no fear, we're not doppelgängers!)

I couldn't throw my neighbors out!