"When I'm Older" lyrics

(When I-when I-when I-when I—)
(When I-when I-when I-when I—)

When I'm old, will I still say shit?
When I'm old, will I still look at porn? (A little bit)
Will I still have sex? (Correction)
Try and have sex with a flaccid erection
Wearing a dumb cap, doing shitty rap
Maybe I'll be fuckin' awesome and get papped
Rollin' in a Jaguar, poppin' the Viagra
Fellas are jealous, my ladies make me look like Hefner
I wake up, different girl each time-er
Don't know her name though, Alzheimer's (Hey)
I wake up, different girl each time-er
Shit, I've done the same bit again, Alzheimer's
The Midnight Beast still raise the roof
Still gettin' clocked for the "Tik Tok" spoof
Sixty years on, still going strong
I'd still be dancin', but my back's gone

(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated
Everyday, inebriated
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still gettin' batshit wasted
Then gettin' resuscitated

I'm dead
Just kidding!
How else would you hear me, dummy?
I'm an antique, start bidding
The other pensioners look at me funny
'Cause they know I know I'm in town, crashin' a party
Back of the club, Horlicks, Bacardi
Never go home, granddaughter's unhappy
Keep goin' when I fill up my nappy
When I'm old, will I play Donkey Kong?
Sittin' in my armchair, sparkin' a bong?
It's for glaucoma, not an addiction
Ask the doctor, it's prescription
When I'm old, will I eat at Hooters?
Pull up, getting head on a mobility scooter?
Still playing FIFA, smoking the reefer
Gramp's on tour, getting wankered in Beefa!

(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated
Everyday, inebriated
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still gettin' batshit wasted
Then gettin' resuscitated

When I'm old, will I still look fly?
Kissin' 'em girls, makin' 'em cry
(Still) Got the guns
(Still) Got the eyebrows
What? I'm fit, there's no need to lie now
Playing bowls, back of the carpark
Gambling money, buying chinos in Primark
When I'm old, will I still have orgies?
Young women in their early forties
Half-blind, half-deaf!
The ladies love me, I'm a—
G-Y-L-F!
Granddad you'd like to— (Shh)
Let's have a game of strip chess
The ladies love me, 'cause I—
Still got libido, still rockin' Speedos
Banned from the pool, 'cause I look like a pedo
(But I'm not a pedo, I'm honestly not a pedo)

(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still get intoxicated
Everyday, inebriated
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
(Na, na-na-na, na) When I'm older
Still gettin' batshit wasted
Then gettin' resuscitated