"A Man In New Pants" lyrics
So it was after that, that I kinda decided I was done doing the whole "Will Wood" thing. Some time came and went and I kept planning and un-planning my stupid trip and eventually the woman who I wrote that song about, uhm, she and I started seeing each other again
Not like I need your emotional investment add to the stakes of my relationship! Her name's Christina and uh she's an environmental engineer, she's smart, she's funny, she's got freckles that look like stars in the mountain top sky- I know- gay- uhm
She's the strangest woman I've ever met and she's kind, which especially in this day and age feels like about the strangest thing you can be
She uh, will catch any bug that gets into the house and scoop it up and bring it back outside so it can live its life where it belongs and be happy and free and uh one time she found a dying baby rat in a parking lot somewhere and so she picked it up and she brought it back home and she was able to nurse it back to health and it's still living with her to this day!
She dates me!
Charitable woman uhm...
She's patient and she's understanding and when it's you vs the world she's on your team and after some time spent working through some old wounds and there were plenty, we've known each other since we were kids and uh there's been a lot of opportunities for me to be a fuckin' piece of shit...
I sat her down and I said to her
"Chris, I don't know if you're ready for something like this. I don't know if I'm ready for something like this, but if there's any chance you are. Would you, go with me to a time-share presentation in Branson, Missouri?"
She said, "Yes."
There was one condition
Okay, so I know I'm known as being like "The rat guy" right, um
But, she actually started that back in the day. We actually used to be rat parents together, years ago and Christina's favorite rat at the time was this adorable, incredibly sweet little critter, named Casper who was the sweetest animal you could possibly hope to uh-uh- meet just, you know, cuddly and curious and adventurous
And she had injured her foot in some way that had led it to being paralyzed and so her animal instincts kinda kicked in and she started trying to bite it off
And so Christina had to separate her from her cage mates and put her in this big green bin full of blankets and repeatedly change this enormous cast-like bandage on her foot
Because I don't know if you know this about rats, but they have very little understanding of medical care
And so as soon as that bandage is on her foot she's trying to like "127 Hours" it back off
We had to keep an eye on her at all times, and so naturally the condition was that if we were going to go to at time-share presentation in Branson, Missouri we would need to bring a dying rat with us...
And I thought "Who am I?" I'm a man in new pants! Okay? I've changed I'm not even Will Wood anymore! Okay baby? I'm not that same jerk anymore- I drive a Subaru now!
And it has room for, the two of us and...Christina...
And a big green bin full of blankets and...
Not like I need your emotional investment add to the stakes of my relationship! Her name's Christina and uh she's an environmental engineer, she's smart, she's funny, she's got freckles that look like stars in the mountain top sky- I know- gay- uhm
She's the strangest woman I've ever met and she's kind, which especially in this day and age feels like about the strangest thing you can be
She uh, will catch any bug that gets into the house and scoop it up and bring it back outside so it can live its life where it belongs and be happy and free and uh one time she found a dying baby rat in a parking lot somewhere and so she picked it up and she brought it back home and she was able to nurse it back to health and it's still living with her to this day!
She dates me!
Charitable woman uhm...
She's patient and she's understanding and when it's you vs the world she's on your team and after some time spent working through some old wounds and there were plenty, we've known each other since we were kids and uh there's been a lot of opportunities for me to be a fuckin' piece of shit...
I sat her down and I said to her
"Chris, I don't know if you're ready for something like this. I don't know if I'm ready for something like this, but if there's any chance you are. Would you, go with me to a time-share presentation in Branson, Missouri?"
She said, "Yes."
There was one condition
Okay, so I know I'm known as being like "The rat guy" right, um
But, she actually started that back in the day. We actually used to be rat parents together, years ago and Christina's favorite rat at the time was this adorable, incredibly sweet little critter, named Casper who was the sweetest animal you could possibly hope to uh-uh- meet just, you know, cuddly and curious and adventurous
And she had injured her foot in some way that had led it to being paralyzed and so her animal instincts kinda kicked in and she started trying to bite it off
And so Christina had to separate her from her cage mates and put her in this big green bin full of blankets and repeatedly change this enormous cast-like bandage on her foot
Because I don't know if you know this about rats, but they have very little understanding of medical care
And so as soon as that bandage is on her foot she's trying to like "127 Hours" it back off
We had to keep an eye on her at all times, and so naturally the condition was that if we were going to go to at time-share presentation in Branson, Missouri we would need to bring a dying rat with us...
And I thought "Who am I?" I'm a man in new pants! Okay? I've changed I'm not even Will Wood anymore! Okay baby? I'm not that same jerk anymore- I drive a Subaru now!
And it has room for, the two of us and...Christina...
And a big green bin full of blankets and...
