"Slingshot Through The Ozarks In The Subaru!" lyrics
[Will Wood:]
So Christina and I are sitting there and she reaches over and she takes my hand
And I notice that both of our hands are covered in these tiny little scratches from Casper's nails
And then it hits me like a kick to the back of the fucking head
Casper
How fucking long has it been?
Oh my God
We leap to our feet
We duck under Dennis' fucking lobster claw arm
We dash out of the conference room and we hear from behind us, I shit you not
[Dennis:]
Alright you two God bless, enjoy the rest of your vacation!
[Will Wood:]
And we dash past the front desk and we hear from behind us, I shit you not
"Oh you two met Dennis, huh? Enjoy the rest of your vacation!"
We slam our way through the front doors of the building and scramble out into the parking lot practically collapsing against the side of the car
Panting and heaving in this mad dash, desperate attempt to save poor old Peanut from chewing her own limb to a bloody stump and bleeding to death in an oversized Tupperware in the middle of Branson fucking Missouri so far from home that she could
So much further than she could possibly conceive of being
Her friends nowhere in sight
Her parents nowhere in sight
And so we slingshot through the Ozarks in the Subaru!
Side-winding our way about the dips and valleys of the mountainside
Every so often looking up at the roiling and undulating kaleidoscopic Milky Way mountaintop sky
And seeing the God king of the cosmos looking back down at us like
[The God King of the Cosmos:]
"Off with his head boy!"
[Will Wood:]
And we make it to the resort
We claw, and scrape, and climb our way up the staircase towards the hotel room
We fumble with the keycard, it won't fucking open
We jerk around the doorknob, it won't fucking open
We practically rip the goddamn thing off its hinges
We pull it open, we slam it behind us
We rush towards the bed
And there is Casper
Somehow having climbed out of the bin lying in the middle of the bed
Her bandages completely untouched
And we didn't
Even get
Our fucking
Coupons!
So Christina and I are sitting there and she reaches over and she takes my hand
And I notice that both of our hands are covered in these tiny little scratches from Casper's nails
And then it hits me like a kick to the back of the fucking head
Casper
How fucking long has it been?
Oh my God
We leap to our feet
We duck under Dennis' fucking lobster claw arm
We dash out of the conference room and we hear from behind us, I shit you not
[Dennis:]
Alright you two God bless, enjoy the rest of your vacation!
[Will Wood:]
And we dash past the front desk and we hear from behind us, I shit you not
"Oh you two met Dennis, huh? Enjoy the rest of your vacation!"
We slam our way through the front doors of the building and scramble out into the parking lot practically collapsing against the side of the car
Panting and heaving in this mad dash, desperate attempt to save poor old Peanut from chewing her own limb to a bloody stump and bleeding to death in an oversized Tupperware in the middle of Branson fucking Missouri so far from home that she could
So much further than she could possibly conceive of being
Her friends nowhere in sight
Her parents nowhere in sight
And so we slingshot through the Ozarks in the Subaru!
Side-winding our way about the dips and valleys of the mountainside
Every so often looking up at the roiling and undulating kaleidoscopic Milky Way mountaintop sky
And seeing the God king of the cosmos looking back down at us like
[The God King of the Cosmos:]
"Off with his head boy!"
[Will Wood:]
And we make it to the resort
We claw, and scrape, and climb our way up the staircase towards the hotel room
We fumble with the keycard, it won't fucking open
We jerk around the doorknob, it won't fucking open
We practically rip the goddamn thing off its hinges
We pull it open, we slam it behind us
We rush towards the bed
And there is Casper
Somehow having climbed out of the bin lying in the middle of the bed
Her bandages completely untouched
And we didn't
Even get
Our fucking
Coupons!
