"Slouching Towards Bethlehem" lyrics
...And just like you, okay, I have weevils reproducing in a bag of rice on my front porch, 'cause that's where they're happy, is closest to nature
Just like you I'd be vegan if it weren't for caviar
And just like-
I'm sorry, okay, I'm done with the, sorry
I can only do the "I'm just like you" and then be weird thing so many times before it gets really fucking annoying, and
The point is I put my pants on
Some days even that feels like a victory
So I know some of you guys are probably kinda curious about the big, dramatic, hiatus announcement and then subsequent anticlimactic return to the stage and I'd like to explain if I may
See, that last song that I played, it went a little viral a couple of years ago and it was the worst thing to ever happen to me, please don't do that again, I'm asking nicely, thank you!
Obviously it's complicated, right 'cause I'm here and I'm really, really glad to be
But all of the sudden I was getting way more attention than I ever thought possible, I mean, certainly I didn't want people sending me threatening collages in the mail telling me I'm not morally entitled to a personal life, you know
I don't love getting 2:00 AM phone calls asking to talk to my dad
I don't love people writing weird sexually aggressive shit about me on the internet
I don't love the whole, fucking
I don't love the stalking, I don't love the attention, it's not for me, at least
I mean, I dunno man, is it for anyone, I mean, I guess it's just like, you know
It's complicated, right, you know, it's like
It's not that it was the worst thing to ever happen to me
It that it was the most thing to ever happen to me
And, you know, I had made all these sacrifices and really given up any chance of every having anything even remotely resembling a normal life in pursuit of becoming this artist I've ever dreamed of being reconstructed as a million new artists who, you know, were being reconstructed by a million new people all of whom I was certain in my heart of hearts would fucking hate me if they knew the real me
And then there's this homunculus of misinformation out there called "Will Wood" and I don't even fucking know that guy
I wouldn't want to be seen hanging out with the Reddit version of Will Wood, you know
You know, and it's weird, it's disorienting, and meanwhile the AIs that decide what media we consume also become capable of creating the media as well, thus plunging us into a second dark age where the Library of Alexandria is not burning but rather being renovated to make room for more porn!
At least, until hurricanes become the dominant species on the planet, and I'm supposed to want to be creative for this undead internet that has only terrorized my psyche since I was a child and gotten worse and worse and eventually designed, I think, consciously, to do so to people?
It was just more than I could ever begin to fucking manage and it still overwhelms the hell out of me
And I think there was a time that I thought I wanted to be larger than life but only because then maybe life would be small enough for me to manage for once
You know, I'm a real guy living a real life
Will Wood is like a character in a story whether I'm consciously playing that character or trying to contribute to that story or not
And when you lose the ability to tell your own story it can feel like the end of the world
And so, I have a story that I'd like to share with you all today, if I may
And I think it might make the last couple of years make a little bit more sense
Just like you I'd be vegan if it weren't for caviar
And just like-
I'm sorry, okay, I'm done with the, sorry
I can only do the "I'm just like you" and then be weird thing so many times before it gets really fucking annoying, and
The point is I put my pants on
Some days even that feels like a victory
So I know some of you guys are probably kinda curious about the big, dramatic, hiatus announcement and then subsequent anticlimactic return to the stage and I'd like to explain if I may
See, that last song that I played, it went a little viral a couple of years ago and it was the worst thing to ever happen to me, please don't do that again, I'm asking nicely, thank you!
Obviously it's complicated, right 'cause I'm here and I'm really, really glad to be
But all of the sudden I was getting way more attention than I ever thought possible, I mean, certainly I didn't want people sending me threatening collages in the mail telling me I'm not morally entitled to a personal life, you know
I don't love getting 2:00 AM phone calls asking to talk to my dad
I don't love people writing weird sexually aggressive shit about me on the internet
I don't love the whole, fucking
I don't love the stalking, I don't love the attention, it's not for me, at least
I mean, I dunno man, is it for anyone, I mean, I guess it's just like, you know
It's complicated, right, you know, it's like
It's not that it was the worst thing to ever happen to me
It that it was the most thing to ever happen to me
And, you know, I had made all these sacrifices and really given up any chance of every having anything even remotely resembling a normal life in pursuit of becoming this artist I've ever dreamed of being reconstructed as a million new artists who, you know, were being reconstructed by a million new people all of whom I was certain in my heart of hearts would fucking hate me if they knew the real me
And then there's this homunculus of misinformation out there called "Will Wood" and I don't even fucking know that guy
I wouldn't want to be seen hanging out with the Reddit version of Will Wood, you know
You know, and it's weird, it's disorienting, and meanwhile the AIs that decide what media we consume also become capable of creating the media as well, thus plunging us into a second dark age where the Library of Alexandria is not burning but rather being renovated to make room for more porn!
At least, until hurricanes become the dominant species on the planet, and I'm supposed to want to be creative for this undead internet that has only terrorized my psyche since I was a child and gotten worse and worse and eventually designed, I think, consciously, to do so to people?
It was just more than I could ever begin to fucking manage and it still overwhelms the hell out of me
And I think there was a time that I thought I wanted to be larger than life but only because then maybe life would be small enough for me to manage for once
You know, I'm a real guy living a real life
Will Wood is like a character in a story whether I'm consciously playing that character or trying to contribute to that story or not
And when you lose the ability to tell your own story it can feel like the end of the world
And so, I have a story that I'd like to share with you all today, if I may
And I think it might make the last couple of years make a little bit more sense
