"Salvation" lyrics
Christina and I had a really awesome time
But at of the night, when we got back to the hotel, um
Casper had bitten through her bandages and was bleeding pretty badly
And she was okay, um
But we had to patch her up a little bit
And we made a promise that we wouldn't leave the hotel room for any longer than we absolutely had to between now and the end of the trip
And we spent the rest of the night in
Eating pizza and watching TV and taking turns feeding Casper peanuts
And she loved peanuts, and we started calling her Peanut
And it was really nice to be rat parents together again for a bit
Oh, by the way
Biblical Times Dinner Theater?
Not at all what I was expecting
Yeah, no, it wasn't a bunch of people screaming around a sand pit while a guy got crucified after all, um
I know, sad, right?
No, it ended up being like a gospel music revue where they fed us canned peas and an old lady dressed as a older lady did a a capella song about the buffets in heaven
Just like one to seventeen or so hours of a bunch of closeted gay men going like
"I sure can't wait to fucking die!"
And look, I don't know what I believe but, um
You know, don't get me wrong, definitely no God
But, um
You know, I don't know if I would like really be into the whole-
I don't know, I-
Pfft-
I'm not doing some like Billy Joel "Only the Good Die Young," "all the rockstars are in Hell" shit here but like you know
I don't love the idea of Heaven personally
Like I don't wanna be reunited with everyone I've ever loved
Who wants all their fucking exes in the same room?
It's kinda really important that they die and don't come back
And look, if you like, believe, like I understand you get to spend eternity in the glory of your creator, you know, you get to be with the God
You know? Like from the everything?
And Jesus is there
And, you know, I mean, like
Some of you people would make serious changes to the way you live your lives for a fucking handshake from Chappell Roan
Don't tell me, like, you know
That's fucking crazy!
God?
Forever
Holy shit!
I get it!
But the thing is, though
I'm not always sure I believe that believers always believe
What I mean by that, is that like, you know, if people really believed, the world would be a very different place
You know, we wouldn't hear things like
"Hey man, I heard about your dad, I'm so sorry..."
You know, we'd hear things like
"Hey man, I heard about your dad
So lucky
I love my dad, he deserves to die."
"Let us not mourn his passing but rather celebrate the... it"
"9-1-1 what's your emergency?
Yahoo!
Alright dope dude have fun, bye!"
Honestly you should be killing people
I don't mean in like a "all believers must take up arms" way
I'm just saying to be a mensch, you know
Oh, sure, you go to hell, but like think of all the people who get to go to heaven 'cause you gave 'em a little boost, you know?
"See you at the buffet!" Bang
And frankly that's a lot of favors done I feel like with - the math balances out you'd probably going yourself too, just 'cause, like, you did a lot of nice stuff
I don't know, look, I know it's kind of a trolley problem situation here, but
But like think about -
As long as you kill good innocent people
Who would go to heaven, you know
Catholics, recently baptized babies, all dogs
And look, I don't really want to talk about abortion right now, but...
Why not let the unborn skip the hard part?
Another good deed done for Christ!
I don't like this
No, I don't like it, I don't wanna be this guy, I really don't
No, you know, It's not, like it's not, It's just, it's not like the kind of artist I wanna be, you know?
I'm just saying, like, I don't know, man, I know it's like
It just, it feels weird, I don't know
Imagine being a member of the one group of people that you're allowed to just brutally verbally assault for their beliefs and maybe get one angry email later
It does seem a little unfair
Will I die on that hill?
Pfft fuck that, you guys are on your own, tough break guys!
But the hill is there
And right now the only people dying on it
Work at Biblical Times Dinner Theater
You know, or the Daily Wire but that's the same thing, really
Don't tell me that you look at Jordan Peterson and see a man who is head isn't going "I sure can't wait to fucking die! "
But at of the night, when we got back to the hotel, um
Casper had bitten through her bandages and was bleeding pretty badly
And she was okay, um
But we had to patch her up a little bit
And we made a promise that we wouldn't leave the hotel room for any longer than we absolutely had to between now and the end of the trip
And we spent the rest of the night in
Eating pizza and watching TV and taking turns feeding Casper peanuts
And she loved peanuts, and we started calling her Peanut
And it was really nice to be rat parents together again for a bit
Oh, by the way
Biblical Times Dinner Theater?
Not at all what I was expecting
Yeah, no, it wasn't a bunch of people screaming around a sand pit while a guy got crucified after all, um
I know, sad, right?
No, it ended up being like a gospel music revue where they fed us canned peas and an old lady dressed as a older lady did a a capella song about the buffets in heaven
Just like one to seventeen or so hours of a bunch of closeted gay men going like
"I sure can't wait to fucking die!"
And look, I don't know what I believe but, um
You know, don't get me wrong, definitely no God
But, um
You know, I don't know if I would like really be into the whole-
I don't know, I-
Pfft-
I'm not doing some like Billy Joel "Only the Good Die Young," "all the rockstars are in Hell" shit here but like you know
I don't love the idea of Heaven personally
Like I don't wanna be reunited with everyone I've ever loved
Who wants all their fucking exes in the same room?
It's kinda really important that they die and don't come back
And look, if you like, believe, like I understand you get to spend eternity in the glory of your creator, you know, you get to be with the God
You know? Like from the everything?
And Jesus is there
And, you know, I mean, like
Some of you people would make serious changes to the way you live your lives for a fucking handshake from Chappell Roan
Don't tell me, like, you know
That's fucking crazy!
God?
Forever
Holy shit!
I get it!
But the thing is, though
I'm not always sure I believe that believers always believe
What I mean by that, is that like, you know, if people really believed, the world would be a very different place
You know, we wouldn't hear things like
"Hey man, I heard about your dad, I'm so sorry..."
You know, we'd hear things like
"Hey man, I heard about your dad
So lucky
I love my dad, he deserves to die."
"Let us not mourn his passing but rather celebrate the... it"
"9-1-1 what's your emergency?
Yahoo!
Alright dope dude have fun, bye!"
Honestly you should be killing people
I don't mean in like a "all believers must take up arms" way
I'm just saying to be a mensch, you know
Oh, sure, you go to hell, but like think of all the people who get to go to heaven 'cause you gave 'em a little boost, you know?
"See you at the buffet!" Bang
And frankly that's a lot of favors done I feel like with - the math balances out you'd probably going yourself too, just 'cause, like, you did a lot of nice stuff
I don't know, look, I know it's kind of a trolley problem situation here, but
But like think about -
As long as you kill good innocent people
Who would go to heaven, you know
Catholics, recently baptized babies, all dogs
And look, I don't really want to talk about abortion right now, but...
Why not let the unborn skip the hard part?
Another good deed done for Christ!
I don't like this
No, I don't like it, I don't wanna be this guy, I really don't
No, you know, It's not, like it's not, It's just, it's not like the kind of artist I wanna be, you know?
I'm just saying, like, I don't know, man, I know it's like
It just, it feels weird, I don't know
Imagine being a member of the one group of people that you're allowed to just brutally verbally assault for their beliefs and maybe get one angry email later
It does seem a little unfair
Will I die on that hill?
Pfft fuck that, you guys are on your own, tough break guys!
But the hill is there
And right now the only people dying on it
Work at Biblical Times Dinner Theater
You know, or the Daily Wire but that's the same thing, really
Don't tell me that you look at Jordan Peterson and see a man who is head isn't going "I sure can't wait to fucking die! "
